I am finally seeing some new numbers on the scale and am starting to get really excited. I feel like it's possible to just fly right out of the 60's and right into the 50's, which is so hard to believe because I spent most of the summer in the 70's gaining and losing the same 5 pounds. I spent the weekend dreaming about what weight I could be at by certain dates and felt really good about it!
Last night I remembered my previous visit to the 50's. I very shortly dropped to the 50's and found it impossible to stay there and eventually just stopped trying and eventually gained every last pound back and then got pregnant to add even more weight. So I am scared. I managed in the 60's before and held on for a bit, but the 50's were not reasonable for me. I keep reminding myself that this journey I am on is mine and completely different than my previous attempts.
As much as I am nervous about how I will handle lower numbers, I started to dream about my goal weight. I have always had my "goal" as 145lbs. My healthy range is 108-146. I picked 145 because it's a nice number and secretly I figured why not stop as soon as I get there? Since my mindset has changed though I started thinking, why stop there? I am thinking perhaps my goal could be 135 with hopes of maintaining in the 30's. It sounds absolutely crazy to me that I could possibly weigh less than 140lbs. However, it doesn't feel impossible anymore, just scary. I am also willing to live in the 40's as long as I need to/possibly forever if that is where my body feels comfortable. I don't want to put stress on myself that isn't necessary. My goal is not to be as skinny as possible my goal is to be as healthy as possible.
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