About Me

A bit of background on me:

I have felt fat for all of my adult life, even before I could be considered an adult. I remember the first pair of jeans my mom bought for me. I was in sixth grade and they were a size 12. I was mortified. (Before that I wore stirrup pants. Come on, they were cool!) I was pretty sure that size 12 was as big as they made pants. I got to high school wishing I was a size 12.
Here is a picture of me around 6th grade. I am the giant orange girl wearing a fanny pack. 

I made it through high school as a size 16. It embarrasses me to type that, but if I am going to be honest and show where I came from then I need to put it out there. I was 180 through most of my high school years. I occasionally would go on a crash diet and lose 5-7lbs before I couldn't take it anymore. I would gain all of the lost weight back within a week.
Here I am in my early high school years. It may even be from 8th grade. I can't seem to find pictures from high school/college times. I know I am such a looker here.

I think I stayed around 180 through college. I didn't move away for school so I guess that saved me from the freshmen 15. However, I did end up dating a boy on the other side of the state. When I graduated from college, we got an apartment together. This is when things got ugly. I guess the relationship made me a bit to comfortable and I gained my freshmen 15. I got up to 196lbs when he proposed to me. As much as I hate that, I am happy in knowing that at my heaviest weight he would ask me to marry him.
This is me a few months before he proposed. Yikes.

He proposed to me July 9, 2007 and my mom paid for me to join weight watchers as an engagement gift. I was very motivated and excited. By Christmas 2007 I had gotten my weight down to nearly 160lbs. I felt great, but wanted to get to 145lbs - a healthy weight for my height.

I continued to work on my weight and managed to see 155 for one day. We got married in September of 2008 and I was probably about 165lbs. I guess the wedding motivation could only get me so far. Throughout our first two years of marriage I brought my weight back up to 196lbs. Then got pregnant.
I was ecstatic to be pregnant, but so disappointed in the weight I had gained over the years and that I would have to continue to gain weight for the baby. I delivered my sweet girl at 235lbs. ugh. I felt gross. I hate the pictures of me in the hospital with her. I look like a beast.

We brought our new love home and I nursed her exclusively. I quickly got my weight down to 205, which made me think nursing was magical and I could eat everything in sight. I was wrong. I rejoined weight watchers just after my 6 week postpartum checkup at 212lbs.

That is the background and this blog will take you from there.