Friday figures

I was so excited this morning that I actually made the trip back to the scale with my iPod to capture the moment. I am in a new decade!

hell yeah!

159 lbs! I can not believe I am in the 150s. On my only other real weight loss attempt I lost weight steadily until I hit about 160. I stayed right around 160 for a few weeks without seeing much progress. I went in one morning dehydrated after a night of too many drinks and saw either 157 or 155, but never saw the 150s again.

I eventually figured I just couldn't weigh less than 160 and stopped "dieting." I somehow managed to maintain between 160 and 165 for a few months and then I slowly packed every last pound back on and found myself pregnant at 196 pounds.

I have been so excited to show myself that I will weigh less than 160 and now I do! I sort of thought I would be nervous because this was my stall out moment last time but I am not nervous. Things are so differ than they were previously and I am ready to keep at it.

On my previous weight loss attempt I was on Weight Watchers. I really did learn a lot from them, but I was not in the right place at all to actually practice the things they were teaching us. I would try to make my meals as low in points as possible and save as many points as possible for snacks and drinks. I also really didn't want to work out. I had my elliptical machine back then and I did use it occasionally, but I really didn't like to sweat. I rarely moved the resistance past level 3 and maybe worked out for 20 minutes.

This "journey" is completely different. I really do feel like I have changed/am changing the way I eat. I am making healthy meals for my family and they actually taste good (or at least okay). I also actually enjoy working out! I love being able to say that I am training for a half marathon. I love that sometimes when I finish a shorter run, I still have energy and throw in a little strength training. When I actually use my old elliptical, I do a pre-programmed 30 minute program that goes all the way up to level 8 or 9.

I feel so different this time around. I am happy and actually want to stay on my "diet" for life. I know that this journey won't get any easier. I will have to constantly keep myself in check, but I feel strong and able.

Friday figures

It's that day of the week again, where I get to "face the facts." I was expecting a loss but not a very big one. I have started weighing myself throughout the week again. I am trying to not be obsessive about it but for me right now, it seems to keep me a bit more focused on the idea that I do want to get to goal weight. I have been down about a pound the last few times that I weighed myself. This morning I stepped on and was genuinely shocked, I saw 161.9. I feel good about that!

I felt particularly good because last night was a struggle. The hubby has been continuing to perfect his perfect pizza recipe (which I just usually make myself something different when he wants pizza) and he wanted to have his dad over to try it out. If people come over for the pizza then I will enjoy the pizza with everyone. I factored in the calories for the pizza and added a side salad and planned a glass of wine. I actually stuck to my plans pretty well and felt quite rewarded this morning.

I am feeling extra motivated to work on weight loss again. I have been casually working on my weight loss forever. I know I thought February was my month, but now March is! :) I realized that I have been in a sort of maintenance mode for awhile, except for the first two weeks of February. I really need to focus on these last 20ish pounds. I know that I can do it and then hopefully I will be able to continue to work in maintenance mode. I have a few things planned for the time coming.

I keep hearing about every one doing cleanses. I have never really thought about doing one, but I am having such a hard time kicking my cravings that I started to think about one. My friend actually mentioned doing a cleanse/detox when we talked after her vacation so we did what comes naturally and decided to cleanse together! We won't be buying any cleanse kit of sorts. I just read up on cleansing and decided to eat clean and take psyllium husk capsules. I really just want to feel good from eating good. We are starting on Monday, March 18 and will follow our program for 10 days.

We will be avoiding dairy, white grains, alcohol, processed foods, and caffeine (although I did decide if I really, really need it, I can have one cup of coffee.).

Our diet will consist of fruit, veggies, lean meats, eggs, beans, whole grains, and nuts.

I don't think this will be to hard for me. I mostly eat "clean," but when I binge I go crazy on processed or white grains. I am hoping that by completely avoiding them for 10 days I can be stronger against them. 

Friday Figures

I am going to get to the point quickly here. I did not lose weight this week. I also did not post my weigh in from last week with all the chaos of not sleeping and having company in town. Last Friday I weighed in at 164.7 lbs. I had eaten two meals out the day before I weighed in so I was hoping some of it was temporary weight gain. I was not so lucky though, this week I weigh 165.1 lbs. Unfortunately I also ate out last night for dinner.

I want to blame this weeks lack of weight loss as a result of my increase in weight training. I met up with a mom friend and we did some circuit work while our daughters climbed on us played. I didn't feel like I worked out very hard, but I definitely felt it the next day so yesterday I did squats and lunges. I am feeling quite sore today so maybe I would have lost some weight if my muscles weren't potentially holding on to some water.

However, I am willing to bet that Easter candy and taco bell had more of a roll in this week's events. I don't know what I was thinking but I seriously thought it would be a great idea to decorate my house for Easter with Easter candy. Why would I do that to myself?!? For Valentine's I filled a vase with pink and white candy corns and did great so I thought, "hey, I am sure that would be great for Easter too!" I bought jelly beans to fill the vase, mainly because I don't particularly care for jelly beans. I had also seen a cute idea on Pinterest- a mason jar with pastel eggs on the bottom and a chocolate bunny sitting in the eggs. It was cute so I decided to make two of those beauties. It was cute...until my hand kept reaching in there and popping chocolates into my face. Even with the lid on the jars, I could not be stopped. The hubby seemed to be having the same reaction to the jelly beans. He even asked me not to refill the vase. After two days and an almost empty vase and having to combine the chocolates into just one mason jar, I put the candy away. Yeah, maybe eating a whole bag of chocolate eggs will make losing weight tough. Seriously!

Last night little lady spent some time with her aunt. The hubby and I were going to go to dinner and stop at a few thrift stores. We couldn't find a restaurant on the route to the thrift stores, but we did find a newer brewery that the hubby had been wanting to try. We went in for a beer and hopes of dinner. The beer was amazing, but the building was kind of gross and we could see the kitchen and didn't think we wanted to eat there. (They also didn't have much of a menu.) We enjoyed our beer and then headed back out. We stopped at a thrift store close to the brewery and I was feeling tipsy and starving. I just wanted to eat. The hubby suggested something quick, like taco bell. What drunk girl can say no to taco bell? Obviously not this one. To top it off I ordered a chalupa combo menu. Surprisingly when I looked up the info at home, it worked into my calorie total for the day. Still not a good choice though. I realized I really need to keep a few granola bars in the glove box for emergencies.

I can't help but think that if I could have had a quick snack to calm the hunger, I could have made a better dinner selection. Oh well, it was good and I am still in control today.

Friday Figures (one day late)

This past week was rough. I hate feeling like I am not in control of my moods. I feel like I should be strong enough to remind myself that I don't want to eat an entire box of crackers, but sometimes the mind wins. I guess it's just a reminder that even though I am feeling in control today, tomorrow is a new day and I need to be prepared. I am still learning ways to handle binge urges. I have a book to read and a crochet project in the works so hopefully that will keep my hands busy and refraining from shoving snacks in my mouth.

Since the previous Friday, I only stayed on tracked 3 days. For 4 days (Sunday - Tuesday and again Thursday) I was completely out of control. I would eat lunch and then find a few other lunch options to snack on. It was disgusting and I felt awful. I hate knowing that what I am doing is hurting me and not being able to stop. I thought I was back in control Wednesday, but at the same time I still felt "off." I managed to track and stay in the correct caloric range, even with going out for dinner and drinks but unfortunately I lost it again on Thursday.

I really thought about not weighing in on Friday morning because when I binge I can easily gain 5-10 pounds. I thought about giving myself a few days and then weighing in, but I think I knew that I needed to face the number to actually see the damage I had done. (Plus, it can snap me out of it when I see how much I have gained.) I stepped on and was completely devastated to see 170.3 lbs. I wasn't going to post it here, but I felt like I needed to be able to look back on it and remember how much damage I can do in such little time.

I stayed on track all day Friday and finally felt out of my funk. I did my cross training and ate properly. Out of curiosity I stepped on the scale this morning(after only one day) and am already back to 165.5 lbs. I am going to use the 165 on my "Weigh in" page since I feel like that number more accurately reflects on the weight that I actually gained. The 170 was probably a lot of water/bloat.

I am actually proud of even posting the gain at all. I have a horrible habit of not really acknowledging my gains. I avoid the scale when I know that I am gaining and then when I do step on, I don't track it anywhere. I usually refuse to post or track (on sparkpeople) a new weight unless it is less than the previous weight. This is foolish on so many levels. It happened and I think it will help me to just own up to it and move on. Plus, next week's loss will feel even better!

Onto happier news: As mentioned all last summer, hubby and I love camping. We would camp every weekend if we could. Little lady has been camping since she was 5 months old. We always brought her a pack-n-play to sleep in, but this year we think she is ready for a sleeping bag (She will be 2 in April). On Friday, she spotted a princess sleeping bag while I casually walked up through a camping supply aisle. She loved it and just had to have it. :) The hubby thought it was a good idea so we brought it home and talked up camping. We decided to have a family camp out in the living room last night. It was awesome! Little lady has never really been a cuddler. She has always slept in her own bed. Occasionally we have thought it would be so cute to sleep next to her and we try to get her to sleep in our bed, but she gets so excited to be near us that no one sleeps until she goes up to her bed. I am happy to say that she fell asleep rather quickly in her sleeping bag between mommy and daddy. I loved waking up and seeing her cute face. I am extra excited for camping now! Our first trip is already planned for Memorial Day weekend! (P.s. It will be another biking trip!)

This morning, after a nice night on the floor, I had a scheduled 6 mile run. After the mood I was in all week, I tried convincing myself that no matter what I would run outside. I woke up to see 4 fresh inches of snow and a steady snow falling. Plus, my fleece was dirty. I reluctantly set up the treadmill and let daddy and little lady have some fun. I did it and it wasn't as bad as every run I did this week. My mind was in such a bad place that even running at all was a huge chore. Usually running for me is always challenging, but in a good way. I almost always feel amazing when I am done, but this week I still felt shitty even after my runs. I was glad that although 6 miles on the treadmill felt torturous, it was also amazing to know that I did it! I feel in control again and I couldn't be happier!

Friday Figures

This may be a long one, but it is totally overflowing with happiness so I think it's okay.

Yesterday, Thursday, was one of the best days all around that I have had in awhile. Each morning I start my day off with a cup of coffee and check Facebook, email, and read a few blogs. I just use my iPod while drinking coffee and chatting with little lady. One of the blogs that I always check is Katie's at Runsforcookies so I started there. She was mentioning some new tea that she was trying out and it sounded amazing and I got slightly sidetracked looking at the tea. I almost didn't finish reading her whole post. Eventually I found my way back to her blog and remembered that she was posting the winner of a giveaway in that post. I got to the end of her post where the winner was posted and my heart skipped a beat. I was almost positive that my comment was showing up as the winner. It was a little hard to make out my profile picture on the small screen of my iPod, but it was my name with it. I almost knocked little lady down as I made a mad dash to my bedroom to use the actual computer to confirm my identity as a winner. I was ecstatic when I realized it was most definitely me and immediately called my husband to let him know. It made my day!

Although I did have an internal struggle that afternoon. We spent the morning having a play date with some friends. Little lady ate lunch at her friend's house and I just planned on eating some leftovers when we got home. By the time we got home it was time for her nap. Once she was situated in her bed, I was famished and couldn't wait for lunch. I warmed up a serving of leftover turkey pot pie. It wasn't a very big piece so I inhaled it in about one bite and still felt starving. I really wanted to binge on something, but I managed to convince myself that I would feel less hungry once my body realized that I did eat something.

I had planned on making the hubby some fudge for Valentine's day and I needed to get started with that anyways. As I was making it I was still having strong binge feelings. I ended up throwing a handful of chocolate chips into my mouth without even thinking about. As soon as I ate them, my mind immediately wanted to eat more since I had already messed up. I didn't know how many I had so my mind was telling me to just eat more and be done with the "track everything" challenge. I decided that I couldn't have had more than a tablespoon of chocolate chips in my hand and at 70 calories that hardly ruins my day. Although some how by the time I wrote it down 5 pepperonis found their way into my mouth too. (Seriously, I don't even know what happened. There was a serious bad mood moving in and it found them stashed in a drawer in the fridge.) I tracked the calories and moved on.

The mood was still moving in and little lady was attempting to skip her nap. (I could hear her chatting away on her monitor.) I was feeling overwhelmed with the need to get a few things done during her nap and if she didn't take a nap, I would not be able to get certain chores done. It was stressing me out and making me want to binge even more. I went upstairs to check on little lady. I cleaned her diaper, sang her a song and headed back downstairs. I knew that the only thing that would save me was a workout. Little lady falls asleep on her own and I decided that if she was still up in 15 minutes, I would bring her down without a nap for the day but I figured that if she was going to be in her bed for 15 more minutes either way, I might as well workout. So downstairs I went. I hopped on the elliptical and tried a pre-programmed routine that I don't think I had ever done before. I checked the monitor after about 10 minutes and there was silence! She finally fell asleep. I felt relieved and finished a 30 minute program on the elliptical and saved my mood for the day! I also got all of the things that I needed to do done.

The hubby came home and brought flowers for me and one for little lady. It was so sweet. I rarely get flowers so it was definitely appreciated. So I had a great Valentine's day all around.

flowers for me and my baby

This morning was my weigh in day. I had not peaked at the scale all week. I had the same nervous excitement as last week. I had to remind myself that I probably wouldn't see a huge loss, but that anything less than 164 (my weight from last week) would be amazing. (Although either way, I wanted myself to feel proud for another good week of working out and eating well.) I stepped on and saw 161.7! Talk about a great feeling. I am sure it will slow down soon but I am feeling so good! I lost 2.3 pounds last week.

Today little lady got her face painted and is just to cute not to share.

showing off her "makeup"

I hope everyone had a great Valentine's day!

Friday Figures

I have officially tracked every single thing I have eaten for the past week! I am so proud of myself and I am feeling better than I have in a long time!

I woke up this morning feeling a bit bloated. I have been so excited to weigh in this morning and have a big loss. I only let myself peek at the scale once all week. I had checked in on Monday morning and actually saw 165 again. Laying in bed this morning, feeling bloated, I started to dread getting on the scale. I panicked that I would see a gain and let myself spiral back to not really tracking and continue to maintain my current weight. I laid there and reminded myself that I am going to complete this challenge either way.

I walked to the bathroom and mentally prepared myself for what I could see. I reminded myself that last Friday I was 167.7 lbs. I decided that anything less than 168 would be okay. I was hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. I stepped on and couldn't believe what I was seeing. I stepped off and on a few more times and the scale continue to reassure me. I weigh 164.0 lbs!

I felt extra excited about the weight loss because I even went out to eat this week. Usually going out to eat means I eat like a starving person at the restaurant and then come home and continue to act like I haven't eaten in days. Little lady and I met up with a friend for breakfast one day this week. I was feeling panicked about it, but I know that I can make healthy choices while eating out. The challenge was that we went to my absolute favorite restaurant and everything they make is absolutely delicious. I had decided that I would get whatever it was that sounded the best to me, but ask for no cheese and eat whites. They had a chicken BLT scramble for their breakfast special. I followed through with my egg whites and no cheese request and they had no problems. The best part is that their food is so good you don't even miss the cheese. I came home and tracked the meal as best as I could and ate well for the rest of the day. It obviously worked out well for me since I finally saw a new number on the scale!

I have been smiling about it all morning! I lost 3.7 pounds this week. I am not expecting huge loses from here on out. I think it's the exciting first week of a diet effect. Either way, I will continue to track my food and work on my half marathon training. I guess the secret to weight loss success really is eating right and exercising! Who Knew!?! :)

Birthday madness

Today is Friday and that can only mean one thing. Weigh in day! I thought I would be so happy with the results, but I weighed in today at 166.0lbs. I was slightly disappointed because I actually saw 164 last weekend before my binge. I had to remind myself that last Friday I was 166.8 so I did lose almost a pound. I am fine with a pound and will continue to work at it. I have also been doing a bit more strength training than usual so perhaps my muscles are kicking in. Either way, I do feel good and am happy about that. Maybe next week I will be closer to 160 than 170.

On to the point of the post. Today is a special day to quite a few people. It is my amazing husband's birthday as well as Katie's. Katie is an amazing blogger who is so inspirational. For her 31st birthday she hosted a virtual 5k. Since her and my husband share a birthday and for some reason I could have sworn his bday fell on a Saturday this year, I didn't think I would participate in her 5k. As this week began I realized my husband's bday is on Friday which would also make Katie's bday and the 5k on Friday. I was excited to join in the fun. However, the joy didn't last long because I realized I would have to run during the day and Michigan winter is to cold to push a toddler in the jogging stroller so I would have to do my first treadmill 5k. Ugh.

I spent the morning trying to pump myself up for it. After little lady went down for her nap and I slowly got my important chores done, I dragged my treadmill to the living room and got started. I don't understand how people run on the treadmill. Outside I can easily do 3 miles. On the treadmill I want to quit 0.5 miles into it. I was not feeling into it today and wasn't worried about my time so I just ran when I felt like it and walked more than I needed to. I tried to mostly run, but I feel like it was more 50/50. I really should have pushed myself harder because official half marathon training starts in just over a week and I will have to do a few treadmill runs.

My results for the virtual 5k:

proof I actually survived 3.1 miles on the treadmill

I actually finished in 40:51 but had a moment trying to get my camera to work.

So, yeah nothing to impressive there but I was still proud to actually tough it out for 3.1 miles. Hopefully my next 3 mile run on the treadmill I will run a bit more than walking. I just need to actually move when I am running. I so prefer running outside than on that damn thing.

Onto more birthday fun: I wanted to take the hubs to Chicago by train this weekend, but with arranging childcare and winter weather driving it just wasn't looking to hopeful. We settled on just a night out downtown. My mom and grandma will be to our house by tomorrow afternoon and then we will be living it up as a childless couple downtown. I am hoping to eat a nice, healthy breakfast and lunch and just enjoy dinner and try to control my drinking. We will be staying in one of the best hotels in the area so I am excited. We haven't actually stayed there before, but we have been in it and it is beautiful. Hopefully he enjoys his fun filled birthday weekend.

Autumn Blues

Oh how I love and hate fall time. I love the look of the leaves as everything changes to fall. I love the crisp fall air and the holidays. However, every fall as far back as I can remember I tend to get depressed. I am not feeling as down as usual this year, but there is just a blah feeling. It is so easy to just want to turn the heat up and cuddle up under a blanket for the next few months.

I am happy to report though that I am fighting the heavy sadness. I have been eating well and running. Last week was mostly hit or miss, but this week I have counted calories every day and ran every day! I did weigh in today. I didn't take a picture because I didn't think I was up for the morning when I weighed myself and before I realized it was officially morning I was slamming water and coffee and didn't want a heavier weigh in. I did see 166.1 lbs. I was happy with that. I lost a little focus around Thanksgiving so I am happy to be down about a half pound...even though it has taken me almost 2 weeks to do that.

I haven't been blogging much these days due to my mood. I think I will just stick to blogging once a week in the winter for my weigh ins and probably will blog more in the summer when there is so much more going on. Although I haven't been blogging, I have been reading a lot of blogs. One in particular has really been making me think.

I love finding a new blog that has been well established and has a lot of entries. It is so fun to go to the beginning and read along their journey, root for them, and see their success. Sometimes it makes it hard to follow "live" blogs because you actually have to wait weeks/months to see their results and be excited. My first favorite "read from the start" blog was http://www.runsforcookies.com/.
Actually, Katie's blog was the first blog that I actually thought was interesting. I read it from the start to current and was actually bummed to get to the current day and it was 'over.' Now I get to look forward to an update every day and it helps to keep me on track and keep me reminded that no one is alone on this weight loss journey.

I recently was on the hunt for another 'must read' blog. It helps me so much to find a new blog that is well documented and read a few entries here and there...especially when I am feeling snacky. A few weeks ago I found http://www.sherylyvette.com/. I will admit that I wasn't instantly hooked, but I loved the look of her blog and started reading. She is very detailed and has a lot of information. She follows weight watchers and shares a lot of information that she hears there. (I am only caught up to her in 2010, but I get a feeling she becomes a leader.) I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to the weight watchers information because I have attended weight watchers before and a lot of their information is repetitive. I was reading it to watch her transformation. I have been realizing these past few days that her weight watcher information/healthy thinking is starting to get to me...in a good way. She talks a lot about eating for fuel and really thinking about why you are eating and what you are eating. I do try to eat healthy, but I still slip a lot. This past week though I am really trying to eat when I am hungry and let it just be a meal and not my form of enjoyment. I am still eating healthy foods that I enjoy, but I am eating to fuel my body and then find something fun to enjoy. It seems to be helping me and making me really focus on why I eat. I am excited to have her blog to follow now in addition to my other ones.

Friday Figures

So, I obviously changed my mind and decided to weigh in today anyways. I was actually really anxious to see where I would be. I almost stepped on the scale last night, but I knew that would ruin it for me. This morning I stepped on and actually didn't feel much of anything when seeing the number. 167.0 It's so weird for me to not be overly concerned with what the scale is telling me. I definitely enjoyed seeing a lower number and I had actually thought it might have been even lower, but I am mostly just happy that it didn't change my mood one way or another.

My weight loss competition ends on Tuesday at midnight. I figure I will just use Tuesday's weigh in as my weekly weigh in. I am assuming I will not want to weigh in the day after Thanksgiving. I will be attempting to eat within reason on Thanksgiving day, but I will not be counting calories. The day after Thanksgiving though I have to jump right back into my new habits. That will be the real test.

I also had a non scale victory this week. On Monday I bought a bag of Dove chocolates for emergencies. That is normal behavior, right? Every has emergency chocolate, yes? I actually managed to ignore the chocolate until Thursday. I am not sure what the emergency was, but I really needed chocolate. I took one out and told myself that I could have ONE if I promised to stop there. I did it! Today I saw the bad again and I could not stop thinking about it. I gave myself the same lecture that I did yesterday and had success again. I was quite happy with that. I am keeping the bag in the freezer and it seems to help a little. When they are in the cupboard I can grab one and eat it before I even sit down to enjoy it. When they are frozen I am still enjoying when I get to my seat. I am feeling proud and in control.

Friday figures

I woke up overly excited to step on the scale. Embarrassing side note: I even dreamed about it. In my dream I weighed 162.4. Which would be nice but not really possible this morning. Since last week I weigh 169.7 I was really hoping to not see the 70s. I stepped on the scale and bam!

167.4! That felt good! I don't know why I was so nervous. I ate good on Friday and most of Saturday. Saturday night we went to a party and I overdid it and stayed off track on Sunday and Monday. I got my act together Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. It paid off and I am feeling great! I am back in the game!

My goal for this week is to stay on track AND not touch the scale until next Friday.

Update: As I was getting dressed this morning I came across a dilemma, I had clean laundry for hubby and little lady, but my laundry was far overdue. The jeans that I have been wearing were a bit sticky from Halloween night and I was meeting with the MOMS club. I try to look nice if I have somewhere to be, although if I had to wear sticky pants a MOMS club meeting would be the place. They would understand. I decided that since I am at my new low weight I should try on my jean pile and see where I am at. I had three pairs that I thought would fit me soon. One was a thrifted size 12 Calvin Klein jeans, they buttoned today but were really tight (large muffin top tight) and short. Another was a pair of thrifted jeans- 11/12 Aeropostale and they fit a little better. They were a bit tight, but I actually set them aside to be washed and put in the wearable area. That was exciting for me!

The big event though was "the jeans." I believe I have mentioned the jeans that I have been dying to wear. I bought them the weekend of my bachelorette party and remember being so excited for them. This was the first pair of jeans that I bought with friends at a cute/hip store at the mall. I was ecstatic when I bought them and felt great. I wore them for awhile until they just didn't fit. I have held onto them in hopes that one day I would fit into them again. I remember at the beginning of this weight loss journey I went through my closet and tried on clothes that fit me at my smallest. I was so depressed seeing tiny shirts that couldn't hold my large arms and cute jeans that would not fit. I remember this specific pair of jeans seemed so small. I couldn't even fit my leg into them. I had tried them on a few weeks ago and got them buttoned but they were not public ready. In today's desperation, I tried them on. They fit!

Little lady just can't resist a picture! The jeans! Not to big of a muffin top.

Now I must add that they don't fit like they used to and I don't know that they will be a favorite. They are still a little tight, but not bad at all. I know they will not be tight for much longer, but the problem I have is the length. Whoa, are these jeans long! I don't think my height has changed much over the years, but these jeans suggest otherwise. I am guessing that I wore them with heels so that could be the problem. Perhaps they will get added in to the date night/girls night out jeans. I am still over the moon that they fit. I am feeling great today!

Friday figures and an overdue farewell

I am not going to lie, but I definitely thought about trying to use an old picture for my weigh in this week. It definitely could have been worse but I am very disappointed with myself. With that said though, I am not shocked I knew I was only half in this week. I get to start fresh again and I am ready!

On a positive note, I do feel good about owning up to this weight gain. When I was losing on weight watchers there was no way I would have gone to a meeting just to see a gain. I would have changed weigh in days or skipped the week all together. I think it's a positive step to just own it and move on.

Another slight positive here is that even with all the over eating I did this week I managed to stay out of the 170s that is a step in the right direction. All summer long I stayed around 174-178. I would just bounce up and down in that range. I think publicly posting my weigh ins keeps me constantly aware that even though I am still in the 160s, I gained over a pound. I think this will help keep me losing weight and not bouncing around with my weight.

In all of this disastrous eating I have done this week I do have a food related NSV. I have been mentioning here and there that I really want to enjoy life and not over due this whole "dieting" thing. I really do feel like this is a lifestyle that I am enjoying and therefore can enjoy the occasional treat. I also know that "occasional" treat can easily get out of hand with me. Yesterday evening, the hubby and I took little lady on a short hike. It was wonderful but on the way home hubs decided he wanted to stop at McDonald's for an ice cream. I can't control his eating nor do I want to nag him all the time. I was thinking about getting an ice cream since I had already eaten more than I had planned for dinner. (that makes total sense, right?). I was planning on ordering some tasty ice cream even while we were in the drive thru. Thankfully though there was a long line which gave me time to think. I realized that I wasn't even really in the mood for ice cream and if I was I would much rather splurge on quality ice cream. I successfully passed up ice cream!


I have also decided to say farewell to an old friend. These pants were the pants I wore in the hospital after having little lady. I had bought them one size bigger than I was wearing because I heard you are swollen so these pajama pants are size XXL. I was super embarrassed to buy them, but once I put them on I didn't care what they said. They were soft, warm and welcoming-just what I needed at that time.

exposed elastic

worn with love

I think I may have clung on to them just a bit to long. I have been letting them comfort me when I have plenty of other pajama pants that can love me now. I have realized that when I binge, I look for these pants. I don't want to keep fat pajama pants lying around the house. I don't need them nor should I be wearing torn up pants. (probably shouldn't be posting pictures of my worn out pjs online for everyone to see either) These are heading out to the trash today.

I do love the way that they give the impression that I don't have a muffin top though. Soon enough though, I won't have a muffin top.

Friday figures

I am back to the weekly weigh ins! I was hoping to see more of a loss since it has been two weeks since I posted a weigh in, but I am still just happy to post a loss.

I am down 1.1 lbs from two weeks ago. I was feeling down about it until I looked at my previous weigh in and remembered how excited I was when I posted 168.7 so I decided that I need to be even happier with a 167.

Today I am struggling with an old mentality- When I was on Weight Watchers, after I would weigh in I would eat whatever I wanted for the rest of the day. Since I "officially" weighed in today AND had a loss my mind keeps wandering to the kitchen. I am really trying to make my new habits a lifestyle and gorging myself on treats after seeing lower numbers just doesn't seem productive. I want to enjoy the treats throughout the week when they come around; such as enjoy tapas on Wednesday night.

I have kept myself on track so far today and dinner is already in the crock pot. I will continue to stay strong and have another loss next Friday.

Friday figures

I did it! I did it! I did it! I am officially in the 160s. I have been dying to get here all summer, but obviously the lack of consistency didn't help me out. I don't care now though because I am here now!

I saw first saw the 160s on Wednesday morning and was so afraid it was a fluke or I would eat my weight in snacks before Friday and not get to share the good news. Thankfully I kept doing what I have been doing and stayed in the 160s for three day now. This is especially impressive for me because I have slowly been allowing foods into the house that can be tempting for me.The husband has been taking lunches to work again and I have a hard time resisting little packages of cupcakes. I am happy to report the whole box (minus one from last week's binge day) made it in his lunches. I even have a box of mini muffins for his lunch that aren't even open. They have been in there since Tuesday- new record for me!

Last night we had taco night and I bought a bag of tortilla chips at the store. I normally don't buy any chips when I am trying to lose weight because I can seriously inhale an entire bag of chips in one sitting. We opened them at dinner and I got by with two small handfuls. (I tried for just one handful, but couldn't resist that second.) I was worried those chips would show up on today's weigh in, but I wanted them and managed to control myself. There is still more than half a bag in our cupboard and I don't feel tempted. (Chips, please do not hear me bragging about my lack of attraction to you and start calling to me.)It feels really good to know I could survive and enjoy a delicious dinner without going overboard.

Friday figures

I know, it's not Friday. After a rough morning on Friday, I did weigh in on Saturday morning. I wasn't thrilled with what I saw, but it wasn't a gain either.

So I lost .3 lbs. I would be happy with that except that I saw a 170 one day last week. Oh well, I will get there.

I will recap my weekend tomorrow. I just got home but I wanted to post that weigh in before I deleted it and tried to use Monday's weigh in for last week.

Friday Figures

So here it is, one week later on my weight loss challenge. I am surprised by the scale yet again, but this time in a more positive way. I will admit that it is not my weight from this morning, but my weight from yesterday morning. I knew that I would be drinking and possibly overeating on our anniversary which would cause I much higher number than would be accurate. My weight just fluctuates really easily and I know today's weight would not be accurate. So here is Thursday morning:

173.1 which is a 3.3 pound loss! I did not eat that great this week, but it made me realize something. I think that when I focus and think I am doing great maybe I am not eating enough. I use Sparkpeople and I think I can eat roughly 1200-1550 calories a day. I usually aim for the low end but maybe I should be aiming for the higher end. This week I am going to really try to count everything I eat but aim for the high end of the calories. This 173 number is the number I have been stuck at forever. My goal was to weigh 170 for my second 5k on August 18. I believe I weighed around 173 then. I was close, but didn't make it. Then I have been stuck with the lowest weight I have seen on this weight loss journey at 172.9. I can't wait to see the 160s. I have been feeling that way all summer, but I think October will me my month. I have extra motivation now.

To continue to motivate myself on the weight loss front I found a weight loss competition and am going to enter. There are prizes and I love the idea of a prize so maybe that will kick me into gear. Here's to being a loser again next week.

Must remain positive

I know, awesome tan lines!

That's right. Some how I gained almost 3 lbs since Monday. My weight fluctuates a lot, but it still seems pretty clear that I did not lose weight. I actually had typed out that this week was a failure but I need to remember that a gain is not always a failure. I completed my running goals so far this week and that is a success!

Now I need to focus on what went wrong this week that I CAN work on. My main goal for the week is to stay binge free. I also realized this morning that I drank more than I have been. I had a glass of wine while making wine, had a few drinks with friends after fitness fun day and had a drink with the hubby while enjoying pierogies. I don't know why I didn't think of that sooner! I have a hard time losing when alcohol consumption is around. This week may be rough then since I have a MOMS night out on Tuesday and our anniversary on Thursday. I will just be extra diligent with my eating. I WILL lose weight by next Friday.