I know, I know

It's been awhile. I have obviously lost some focus. I spent last week trying to relax and figure out why I can't stay motivated. I failed my healthy eating most days and only worked out one day. I think the main thing that was keeping me focused previously was my training schedule. I managed to follow that thing every single day. I did not always make the best eating choices, but I always did what the schedule said. With that in mind I decided to check out Hal Higdon's 5k training schedule. I didn't use his 5k training for my first 5ks, but I did use it and enjoyed it for my 10k. I thought I would be ok to just run on my own and follow my made up schedule, but if wasn't working. When I see it on the actual schedule I think, "well, Hal Higdon thinks I can run 3 miles today..." It is way more motivating than, "I think I can probably run faster today..." So I am excited for it. It's just something to keep me moving until the December 5k.

I am feeling confident again in my abilities to lose weight. I am slightly disappointed in myself since this is the last week of a weight loss competition that I signed up for and I have not given it my all. I think I am just not motivated by competition. I seem to have the opposite mindset. When I have a bad day, I go straight to, "Oh well, I guess I won't win the competition so I might as well eat ALL the food in the house." I am trying to forget about the competition for this last week and just focus on being healthy. I think it triggers something in my head that freaks out about a deadline and not making it. I am just trying to enjoy this journey, however long it takes me.

I did weigh in on Friday. I did not take a picture because I was so upset, but I saw 168.2. I was glad it wasn't back in the 170s but I was still disappointed that I gained. I knew that I would, but it sucked to see. I actually was surprised that I gained less than 1 pound.

Since we changed the clocks for daylight savings time, I have been exhausted. Little lady is not adjusting well and has been waking up at 5:30 most days. I can not function getting up that early. I think part of my lacking motivation is the fact that I am just so effing tired all day every day. (I can't seem to fall asleep for naps.) My mom had mentioned visiting this week because she had 5days off in a row. She started hinting that she would come if we needed a babysitter. I don't know if she didn't want to impose or if she wasn't sure she wanted to make the drive over. We don't need a night out since we partied it up pretty hard this past weekend (a topic for another post) so I had told her she was welcome to visit but we had no plans. This morning as my alarm clock little lady cried out at 5:30 I realized that maybe my mom wants some quality morning time with her granddaughter. I called her at 8am and hammered out the details. On Wednesday I am sleeping until after 7am. I can't wait!