lazy week

I have decided to give myself a week to relax before figuring out what to do next with my running schedule. I really liked having a running schedule so I want to have something to follow and stick with. I also don't want to burn myself out with running so I decided to let myself slack for a week and just run if/when I feel like it.

I really want to focus on my diet this week. I have not truly gotten my eating back in control in a few weeks. I have off and on days which is what my whole summer was and I hated just bouncing back and forth with a few pounds. I really don't want to do that all fall as well. I also really worry on my bad days because it reminds me that I have lost weight before AND gained it all back. I will not let that happen again! I know this time is different because I am loving my running and am not as focused on losing weight and I for sure don't have deadlines for when I would like to have the weight gone. I am more than okay with taking the slow road, especially if it leads to keeping the weight off.

I am feeling good today. I went to bed early last night and am on track for the day. My food is figured out for the day and I feel like I can handle it. I think one of my challenges is lunch. I eat the same breakfast pretty much every day (English muffin with peanut butter) and I plan out a weekly dinner menu, but lunch is just sort of there for me. I realized that when I am on track with my health I am in a good lunch rut. I was in love with my salmon a few weeks ago and that was one of the last times I was really on track. I enjoyed my lunch and then felt satisfied until dinner. These past few weeks I have been throwing together lunch ideas quickly at the last moment. Sometimes they just aren't satisfying and I end up grazing all day long.

I found an interesting coconut chicken recipe that sounds really good to me, but hubby hates coconut. I decided to make a batch tomorrow for lunch and then just portion out servings for each day for my lunch. I think it would be a great idea to make one meal each week that the hubby doesn't/wouldn't like and just eat that each day for lunch. It seems like a win/win for us both. I can enjoy my odd foods and hubby doesn't even have to look at them.

Weekend Recap

When I got home after my amazing run my mom and grandma were already here just waiting for me. I talked with them for a bit and then hoped in the shower and finally got dressed for the day, at 3pm. I decided to make some more homemade bread for them to have with dinner so I got that going while chatting with them. We talked for a bit and then they had to get going to church and I got going on making dinner for them. It was nice to be in control of the cooking so I know what I am eating, but it is so hard with my grandma around. As I mentioned before she always overcooks and we have a bunch of leftovers. I was just planning on making some pasta, roasting some squash and having bread. My grandma also brought corn that she wanted me to make and really wanted me to make stuffed squash (roasted acorn squash filled with stuffing. yum). Who can say no to their grandma?!? So, I obviously ended up cooking way to much food for dinner. I had a bite of everything and counted the calories. It was good and worth it.

This morning my mom and I took little lady back down for the last day of ArtPrize. (The main reason for this visit was that my mom wanted to see ArtPrize.) It was nice because we got down there fairly early and it wasn't to crowded. We walked around for over 2 hours so I am counting that as one of my cross-training days for this week.

We came home and grandma had of course cooked a huge feast for us. Thankfully, it was just chicken stir fry, but she made enough for everyone to have at least 3 servings. It was good, but it looks like we will be eating leftovers all week.

My grandma also has a sweet tooth so she brought some donuts and coffee cake. She must have crazy self control because she is always around this type of stuff and is not huge at all. Right now we have 3 huge peanut buttery donuts and 3/4 of a coffee cake sitting in the kitchen. I told myself I wasn't going to touch any of it, but I had 1/4 of a donut and a piece of  coffee cake. I counted the calories though and am fine. I just hope I can restrain myself. I hope the hubby doesn't mind taking it to work tomorrow. :)

I wanted to post about this yesterday, but didn't want to ruin my runners high from the amazing run. I overindulged again on Friday night. I think I was tired and didn't realize it in time to help myself. I did start out strong though. I had eaten dinner on Friday night and just didn't feel full. I wanted to snack and didn't let myself for awhile. I actually had some tea earlier than usual and that held me over for awhile. After another hour went by, I just still felt hungry. I decided that maybe I was just really hungry. I warmup up some leftovers from taco night and ate one taco. I felt a little better and was ok with that. Then all of a sudden I remembered the delicious chips from taco night. I had 2 servings and put them away. I was mad that I ate them, but happy I stopped with 2. However, the eating didn't stop there. A half hour later I still felt hungry and snacked for awhile. I went to bed shortly after that, pissed off at myself for not just skipping the snacks and going to sleep early. Oh well, this is real life.

On the positive side, I woke up Saturday and went right back on track. I didn't weigh myself because I knew there would obviously be a gain and I just didn't need to see it. (I did weigh in today and there is still a gain.) I used to let binges bring me down for days/weeks/months at a time. It is a huge success for me to let it only ruin a night. I think I am ready for the next step though. I would like to stay binge free for 30 days. They say 21 days to create a new habit so I say 30 days to make it stick. In 30 days it will be November 6th. I will be a new person by then, right? I would also be happy with just a whole week binge free. I seem to have one bad day every week. Not this week though.

Rising and falling

So along with what seems to be everyone else, I love fall! It is absolutely beautiful here. A friend and I had been waiting for the leaves to changes so we could do a fall bike ride and enjoy the leaves. Today was finally the day. We met for breakfast and then headed off to a trail that she has ridden a few times with her boyfriend. I don't usually ride trails other than the one near my house because it is such a pain to fold up little lady's bike trailer, put the bike rack on my car and load my bike up. The husband helped me put the bike rack on so I can't really complain to much. I managed to fold up and load the trailer and my bike without to much difficulty. I was excited for this trail, she had told me it was a little hilly. I don't get to ride hills much because my trail is part of the rails to trails program so it is pretty flat. I only ride up one hill on the road to my house. This trail definitely had some hills! I feel pretty used to pulling little lady but she felt like a ton of bricks today. My bike seemed off too. I don't know if it needed to be oiled or it just had a hard time shifting gears with so much weight pulling back on it. We survived though and it felt like a really good workout.

It's sort of funny, the friend that I rode with used to be a drinking buddy. We would go out to the bar after work and share some food and drinks. It's so funny to me that now we do fitness fun days and talk about our health. I feel like it is a friendship that has grown with me and it's weird to see where we are now.

I also had a 2 mile run on the schedule today. I was driving home around lunch/nap time and was trying to come up with a plan for the run. Little lady had fallen asleep on the bike ride for about a half hour. Whenever she does that she will fight her afternoon nap (which is usually a 2-3 hour nap) so I quickly decided to just run when I got home and then get her ready for her nap. It worked out perfectly but I could feel that bike ride in my legs. My run took me just over 25 minutes, but I did it and am on track this week. 4.5 miles here I come!

I did take a fall picture of the beautiful tree in front of our house.The colors right now are amazing and I am hoping to snap a few pictures of the trail when I run this Saturday.

I love this tree!

I was also successful in my first bread making adventure (hence the rising). The bread was delicious and I got to make hubby some sandwiches for lunch on homemade bread. I am hoping he liked it.

You had to roll the dough out and then roll it together. This is it before rising.

Here it is all baked up. I didn't get a risen picture before baking.

I am enjoying my time in the kitchen and actually using self control around all these yummy homemade treats. I am amazed at my new ability. I can guarantee that not to long ago I would have inhaled that whole loaf of bread. Last night I had one slice with dinner and then sliced up the left over bread and put it in the freezer for future sandwiches. I hope this new self control stays awhile.

To much time in the kitchen...

But in a good way!

Ever since the hubby and I made our homemade pierogies we have been sort of toying with the idea of making our own bread. (I don't think we will do it all the time, just occasionally when we do have the time. I am not against store bought bread or anything like that. I wanted to make it just for the fun of it so when it stops being fun I will stop making it.) I wanted to make bread last week, but forgot to buy yeast when we were grocery shopping. I finally picked some up during yesterday's trip. Now let me say now that I am not an amazing cook. I did not grow up with home cooked meals and learn all sorts of tips throughout my life. I am finally picking up things here and there (and by that I mostly mean the internet). I have also finally gotten to the point that I can make up dinner every day and hubby eats it without to much complaining.

Now I don't know what went through my head but I saw a picture of homemade English muffins and became obsessed with trying to make them. I think it's just that I have been eating an English muffin with peanut butter every morning for breakfast. I made the dough during little lady's nap and messed with it until the evening when they were ready to go. I actually had fun and would think about doing it again. Thankfully, I made 26 muffins so I should be set for awhile.

I shaped the dough and let them rise.

I actually cooked them on the skillet.

They actually look like English muffins. I am so proud!

So what is next on the agenda? Here is a sneak peak of this evenings activites...

I have some bread dough rising.

I am excited to see how this bread will turn out. I have always been afraid of working with yeast so I haven't experienced with it much. Maybe my new hobby will be baking. (That could be bad for the waist line. yikes.)

On to the good stuff...I have been feeling super healthy lately. I have even been cooking actual lunches lately. Usually I just eat a salad or turkey sandwich, but I sort of burnt out on those options and wasn't sure what to do. I ate soup for a week, but never feel satisfied with just soup. Low and behold the answer to my problem was in my freezer. For some reason whenever I thought about eating healthy I would buy a pack of frozen fish fillets and plan on eating them, but never really would. Last week when I grew bored of turkey sandwiches and was panicked for lunch one day I saw my frozen tilapia just sitting there. I had bought some dill mustard and decided to grill the tilapia and make a sandwich with it and the dill mustard. I didn't have very high hopes but figured for 100 calories worth of fish and 100 calories worth of bread that it was worth a shot. I actually really enjoyed it and ate that lunch every day until I ran out of tilapia. Monday night I was searching through the freezer in preparation for Tuesday's grocery shopping and found some salmon that was still good. I wasn't sure if salmon would work in my sandwich creation (to be fair, I don't know how to pair many foods together) but figured I could at least eat it for lunches this week to save some money. Thankfully, I didn't have to try it as a sandwich because I found a salmon recipe on Budget Bytes (just found this blog and love it, I think I found the english muffins here too!) that morning and had everything to make her teriyaki salmon with sriracha mayo. When lunch time came I was actually really excited. I made some rice to go along with my salmon and couldn't believe how good it smelled while cooking. OMG it tasted amazing! I ate it today too and have one fillet left for tomorrow.

On a physical fun note I took a long walk again today with my new mom friend. Of course it started sprinkling just as I got to her house, but we toughed it out and walked for about an hour and a half. We went about 5 miles. It was fun but a bit cold with the rain. Of course it stopped raining just as we got back to her house. Tomorrow I am supposed to go on a bike ride with a friend. There is a chance for rain again so we will see. 

Closing note here, I was very happy when I stepped on the scale this morning. My fingers are crossed that I don't go overboard soon and can share my good news on Friday!

Weekend weight warrior

I survived the weekend with my mom and grandma. It was a nice visit with nothing to special planned. My grandma likes to visit on those types of trips. She doesn't like the weekends that she comes here and we run around all day, so I think she was happy. Little lady was in a super cranky mood through most of the weekend though so that was definitely a bummer. Especially because, let's face it, they are really just here to see her.

They made it to our house really late on Saturday. We were ready for bed by the time they got here. It was 9:30pm. Lame. Sunday morning they did watch little lady for a bit so hubby and I could go running. We have never gotten to run our trail together without the jogging stroller. Unfortunately about a half mile into the run hubby's leg was really hurting him. He is usually a macho man so it must have been bad. He decided he would just walk a bit and catch up with me after I turned around (at the further point this time). I was thankful that he knew how important the run was for me. I was worried he would be upset that I didn't help take care of him, but he was really encouraging. I made it to the turn around and headed back. When I ran into hubby he ran with me for a bit again. He ended up running and walking about 2.5 miles on his bum leg. I was proud that I managed to run the whole 3.5 miles, not counting when I stopped with hubby for a minute a half mile in. I felt pretty good the whole time too. I actually feel like I will be able to run this 10k!

The rest of Sunday was spent eating. Thankfully, I ate really lightly for breakfast and lunch because my family goes way overboard with food. My grandma likes to cook and I don't think she gets to cook much at home since it's just her so she wanted to make pork chops for dinner. I figured that would go with the pierogies and I could grill up some zucchini. That's not to bad for a meal. A heavy meal, but still. My mom also made a salad and applesauce to go with everything. The food choices weren't to bad, but there was definitely a lot of food to go around. My grandma made 8 huge pork chops. There were only 4 adults and little lady. My grandma also wanted to make mashed potatoes and rolls. I talked her out of both, especially the rolls. We were at Sam's club so it would have been a huge bag of rolls. She did have to buy cookies. I managed to have a quarter of a cookie with my coffee on Sunday and a half of cookie with my lunch today. That is huge for me. I am so tempted by sweets, but I have gotten a lot better lately.

While they were here I couldn't help wonder if some of my relationship with food goes back to my family. I don't believe that I can blame my heaviness on my family, I am the one that makes my food choices but I think some of it may be feelings towards food are influenced by my childhood. It makes me wonder if maybe that's why my portions are so out of whack. I mean my grandma made 8 pork chops! She also kept trying to add on to the menu. There is always huge portions of food at our family parties and everyone pushes it onto each other. (I also understand why my hubby always told me I was making way to much food. Now when I cook I make 4 servings. We each eat one, little lady eat one, or half and has the other half for lunch the next day. Hubby then has lunch with the leftovers or I can eat it for lunch the next day. Plus, then if we do actually clear out the food, we will have eaten 1.5-2servings.) I am constantly trying to figure out what makes me eat the way I do. I know that I have to figure it out if I want to lose the weight and actually keep it off. I am happy that on this journey in weight loss land I am figuring some of that out.