Weekend recap and more

So I survived the trip to the east side of the state...just barely. I will admit I was happy with my eating while there but my drinking was out of control.

After my run on Saturday I did indeed eat my oatmeal and salad. We drove straight to my cousin's house where she made tacos for the birthday party. I had one taco with meat, tomatoes, onions, and guacamole. I also enjoyed a side of dirty rice. Surprisingly my hand only dipped into the chips a few times. There was of course cake and ice cream. I had a small piece and one scoop of ice cream that I shared with little lady and thankfully she ate most of it for me.

Once most of the party goers left, a few of us enjoyed some wine together. We were waiting for my other cousin to make it over still. (My brother is really close to the cousin we were waiting for and they had planned on hanging out and invited hubby and I to join them all too.) The wine kept flowing and after three large glasses, I should have stopped. I did not. Shortly after my cousin got there I went with my SIL to take my nephew to her dad's house for the night (little lady was with my mom). I knew I was already drunk in the car but I didn't really think much of it. (My SIL had not had anything to drink yet. No one was harmed in the car ride.)

We got back to my cousin's and ended up going on a quick run to the liquor store for beer, wine, and liquor. We hung around my cousin's for a bit more and I probably had another glass of wine and then some how we all ended up heading out to the bar. (I was not driving. The hubby dropped my car at my mom's since he hadn't started drinking yet and we picked a bar about a half mile from my mom's.)

Unfortunately I continued drinking at the bar, but switched to liquor. Around 12:30 it suddenly hit me that I was way to drunk. Whenever I have that revelation, I demand that the hubby take me home immediately. We found our coats and my cousin noticed we were taking off and refused to let us walk so he graciously drove us to my mom's. As soon as we walked in, I fell apart. Let's just say the night did not end pretty.

The next morning I woke up feeling okay, but extremely tired. Little lady woke up around 7 and the hubby needed help finding more wipes so I had to get out of bed. I laid pathetically on the couch the whole morning and maybe fell asleep for a few minutes (It's hard to fall asleep with a toddler roaming around). Since it was St. Patrick's Day my mom was making corned beef and cabbage and really wanted us to stay. I REALLY didn't feel like eating but I also REALLY didn't feel like moving so we sort of got roped into lunch. My mom invited my grandma over at 11 (my gma lives 2 houses down) so my goal was to get dressed by 11.

That did not happen so when I heard my grandma come in, I jumped in the shower quickly. I was hoping a shower would make me feel better but it made me realize how hard it was for me to stand. I felt weak. I got dressed and sat at the table with a piece of bread. I took a few bites and told the hubby that I needed to sleep for a little bit and then I could make the trip home.

The hubby woke me after a half hour and I felt SO much better. I rejoined my family and had a half of a corned beef sandwich and chatted for a bit. Then, we loaded up and got ready to head home. I almost made it out of my mom's house having only eaten that half sandwich, but she had bought us each a candy bar and I had to take it with me. I ate and enjoyed it in the car.

Sunday was supposed to be cross training but I just could not convince myself to do anything once we were home and settled. I decided to try to make it up this week.

Monday was the first day of my 10 day cleanse. I woke up to a fresh pot of coffee made by my wonderful husband. I have finally gotten him to make me coffee and I don't think he realized that I was not planning on coffee. I had to enjoy a half cup, but that was all I had. I managed just fine with resisting everything else on my list.

According to my training schedule I am supposed to run on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday but I needed to run Monday thru Wednesday because of a potential visitor. I could not convince myself to run but I did walk 3 miles on the treadmill. I felt okay with that because my right knee and calf have been feeling off. I thought maybe just walking would be good.

Tuesday I would have had 5 miles to run, but plans changed for this week and I didn't have to rush my runs in the beginning of the week. I was really tired yesterday mainly from lack of caffeine so I decided to count my 3 mile walk as cross training so that I would be caught up and just run 3 miles on Tuesday. I did walking and running on the treadmill because my calf was really tight, but my knee did feel better.

Today, Wednesday, I had to face up my mid week 5 mile run. I felt exhausted all day. I realize how much I rely on coffee. I really want to add a cup of coffee in the morning back, but I actually feel determined to finish the rest of the 10 days without caffeine. I was planning on waiting for the hubby to get home from work so I could run outside since it is the first day of spring. However, I looked out the window and saw this.

How is it still snowing?

I felt crabby from lack of caffeine and could not convince myself that I would run in the snow. I thought I would try 5 miles on the treadmill during nap time, but I was so unfocused. I almost decided to skip the run and blame it on the knee/calf issue, but I couldn't do it.

Once little lady went to sleep I hopped on the treadmill. I walked the first 0.1 mile and ran the last 0.9 mile of each mile. It took me forever (1:08:25) but I did it! I felt good and more awake than I felt all day. I didn't realize how sweaty I was until I went in the bathroom to shower.

sweaty chest! I earned it!

I am hoping to run my 3 miles outside tomorrow. Hopefully the weather will get nice soon so I can just take little lady with me on my week day runs.

Don't let me predict the weather

It turns out that I was definitely wrong and that winter is still here.I woke up today to do my weekend run. I was greeted with about an inch of snow. It wasn't much snow, but enough to make me not want to run outside. Thankfully though the weekend run is the long run, but this is a sort of step back week and it was a scheduled 5k. I didn't sign up for one because I didn't want to spend any money, but figured I would just race my own 5k.

I debated just running on the treadmill this morning, but since it just feels like torture and the hubby was home I had no real excuses. I did decide on not running to fast. I really didn't want to fall and it was a bit slippery since there was a nice coat of ice under the snow. I ran my 5k in 35:07. It wasn't my fastest time, but I have done worse and the important part is that I got out and ran it (and didn't fall!).

snow and ice covered trail

I also snapped my first picture of myself while running. I only took one and I look a bit crazy, but oh well. I am out running in the snow!

proof that I actually am out running on the trail

We are getting ready to head to the east side of the state today. My cousin's daughter is having a birthday party and since my brother now lives a bit closer to home, he will be there. We don't always get the chance to go to all the birthday parties, but with the bonus of seeing my brother we found a way.

The downside though is that my diet is crazy when I am at my mom's. I am secretely really glad that we didn't try to go last night. I got my run in this morning, ate my oatmeal, and am planning on a big salad before we leave. We are driving straight to the birthday party and I know I will eating something there. My plan is to keep it light because I know we will also eat dinner. I can't eat 4 big meals, but 4 smaller meals would be okay. Hopefully it will work out for me. My goal for eating at my mom's house is to only eat if I would be eating at my own house. I need to learn how to change my behavior in her house so it doesn't always feel so stressful to visit.

Hope everyone has a fun and safe weekend!

Friday figures

It's that day of the week again, where I get to "face the facts." I was expecting a loss but not a very big one. I have started weighing myself throughout the week again. I am trying to not be obsessive about it but for me right now, it seems to keep me a bit more focused on the idea that I do want to get to goal weight. I have been down about a pound the last few times that I weighed myself. This morning I stepped on and was genuinely shocked, I saw 161.9. I feel good about that!

I felt particularly good because last night was a struggle. The hubby has been continuing to perfect his perfect pizza recipe (which I just usually make myself something different when he wants pizza) and he wanted to have his dad over to try it out. If people come over for the pizza then I will enjoy the pizza with everyone. I factored in the calories for the pizza and added a side salad and planned a glass of wine. I actually stuck to my plans pretty well and felt quite rewarded this morning.

I am feeling extra motivated to work on weight loss again. I have been casually working on my weight loss forever. I know I thought February was my month, but now March is! :) I realized that I have been in a sort of maintenance mode for awhile, except for the first two weeks of February. I really need to focus on these last 20ish pounds. I know that I can do it and then hopefully I will be able to continue to work in maintenance mode. I have a few things planned for the time coming.

I keep hearing about every one doing cleanses. I have never really thought about doing one, but I am having such a hard time kicking my cravings that I started to think about one. My friend actually mentioned doing a cleanse/detox when we talked after her vacation so we did what comes naturally and decided to cleanse together! We won't be buying any cleanse kit of sorts. I just read up on cleansing and decided to eat clean and take psyllium husk capsules. I really just want to feel good from eating good. We are starting on Monday, March 18 and will follow our program for 10 days.

We will be avoiding dairy, white grains, alcohol, processed foods, and caffeine (although I did decide if I really, really need it, I can have one cup of coffee.).

Our diet will consist of fruit, veggies, lean meats, eggs, beans, whole grains, and nuts.

I don't think this will be to hard for me. I mostly eat "clean," but when I binge I go crazy on processed or white grains. I am hoping that by completely avoiding them for 10 days I can be stronger against them. 

Happy Runniversary!

I have officially been running for a whole year now! I was going to put quotes around "running" because I still feel weird telling people that I run. However, my last long run felt awesome and I will be running a half marathon in just over a month so I am more of a runner than I was a year ago!

I have been thinking about my running journey all day. (I think I am more excited today than I was on my birthday.) I remember a year ago so clearly. My husband and mother threw me a surprise 30th birthday which left me with a few gift cards. At the same time I had been thinking about running and even hinted that I wanted to try to run a 5k in the summer. I was stalking the weather channel waiting for weather that I thought I could take little lady with me for my attempts at running. The week following my birthday showed unusually warm weather for March in Michigan so the day we came back from the East side of the state for my party, little lady and I headed to a local superstore with a gift card and cash in hand.

I went to the clearance shoes and looked for something in my size and were specifically running shoes. I was way to imtimidated to go to a running store for shoes and I didn't want to invest to much. Thankfully the shoes that I purchases ended up working out well for me. I have heard so many horror stories of people buying the wrong shoes and ended up with problems or just not liking running. I actually still have those shoes from a year ago and wear them for all of my outdoor runs. (They will be downgraded to just for running the snow and rain once the weather is nicer and I can break out my new Brooks.)

trusty first pair of running shoes

At the store that day I also bought a pair of black "workout" pants. They were plain and, I think, cotton. They were all I wore through my couch to 5k training. As it got warmer out, I eventually bought capris to run in and they just happened to be moisture wicking. After that point, I could no longer wear cotton on runs. :)

The day after I bought my first supplies for running the weather called for sun and 60s. I decided it was time. I walked a half mile to the trail with my baby in a jogging stroller. I didn't realize there was an app that would time me and I didn't realize that I owned a stopwatch so I carried my iPod and just stared at the timer as I ran. The first week involves 60 second runs. I thought I would die! I was so embarrassed whenever other people were near me, but I kept going. I remember being so proud after my first "run." I also remember the struggle and telling myself that it would be okay if I had to repeat every week. I had started training in March for a 5k in August.

After that first week, I headed out to begin my second week of training with every intention to just repeat week 1. Once I got out there and started my first running portion, I kept going. I was on week 2 and as hard as it was, I realized that I could push through and I was ready for week 2.

I continued on each week without repeating any of the previous weeks. I was so proud of myself after each run. It was such an amazing feeling to know that I was doing something at 30 that I had told myself was not possible for me at 20. I kept at it and "graduated" from couch to 5k. I was not yet running 3 miles because I run slow, but hey- I was running for 30 minutes straight! (With couch to 5k you can run a set distance or a set time. I wasn't sure of my distance so I just ran for time.)

All summer long, I kept running. I didn't have any real schedule but I got out there and ran 1.5-3 miles a few times per week. I had to keep myself ready for my August 5ks! I didn't know what to expect for myself after August, but I knew that I liked being a runner. If felt good to know that I was doing something good for me.

As August approached, I realized that I was hooked on running. I wanted something to push me further. I looked into 10ks in the fall. I found one the last weekend of October and printed off a training schedule. After Labor day, I started training for a 10k. I remember the sense of accomplishment after each long run. I would burst into the house with a huge smile and make my husband guess how far I had run. Having him see me cross the finish line after my first 10k was amazing!

I knew that I wanted to continue on with running and was terrified of not running all winter. (Did I just say "terrified of NOT running?" Who am I?) I looked into spring half marathons to give me a reason to run when I would rather be curled up under a blanket. I found one the last weekend of April 2013. I am currently about half way into training for my first half marathon.

If you had told me a year ago that I would be running a half marathon (and excited/obsessed with it). I would have laughed in your face. I really wasn't sure that I would be able to run an entire 5k. I am so proud of how far I have come and am excited to see where else I will go. Running has changed me in so many ways and not just physically. (Although being 30 pounds lighter is nice!) I feel so much happier than I ever have before and as odd/corny as it sounds-I feel more alive now than ever before! So really today is more my "birth"day than this weekend was and I am so happy to celebrate it!

Another year older (and maybe wiser)

So here I am just a little bit older than before. My birthday was on Sunday. I had a really nice weekend and the best part was, I didn't have to wash any dishes! :) My fun started Friday evening. The hubby had to run out to the store and was going to just wait until little lady was sleeping, but somehow things worked out that he took her with him to the store. That meant that I got to sit at home and enjoy a quiet, empty house. That hasn't happened in forever and I loved it. I had a stack of magazines piling up so I starting catching up.

Saturday morning we slowly got ready to go to Frederik Meijer Gardens to see the butterflies. I love just spending time as a family so I had a great time there. Little lady loved looking for all the butterflies and hubby loved showing her off. I feel like we don't go out as a family as much as I would like. I think once it's nicer out, we will have to get out with her more. We are also horrible at taking pictures while we are out so I asked the hubby to get a few pictures of me and little lady. I occasionally remember to snap some pictures of him and her, but I feel like I have very few photos of me with her. One of the pictures turned out pretty cute and the hubby actually printed out a nice copy of it for me for my birthday.

My little lady loves to make silly faces.

I also had a long run scheduled for Saturday. During little lady's nap time, I prepared for an 8 mile run! I decided that I needed to start fueling during longer runs. My 7 mile run had been rough and I thought maybe mid-run fuel would have helped. I decided to bring 2 Clif shot blocks with me and a can of coconut water. (I didn't have a good way to carry water with me on my run and I wanted something that at least once I drank it, I didn't have to carry it back.) I also ate a kids Clif bar before my run since I hadn't eaten since my oatmeal breakfast.

I hit the trail and felt pretty good. I was focusing on not letting the mentality of "8 miles!!!" get to me. I knew that I had run 7, so why not 8? At just past 2 miles, I felt a horrible cramping on my right side. It was like runner's cramp, but much worse than I have felt. I slowed down and was trying to figure out what to do. The cold can of coconut water pressed into my ribs offered a bit of relief. I contemplated turning around, but I have read other runner's that had felt an odd pain and it would go away just as quickly as it came on. I decided that I would continue until 3 miles and then turn and head back if the pain was still there. I took 2 walking breaks and would stretch out my side as I walked. I kept my pace slow while I ran and by the time mile 3 rolled around, the pain was gone. I was relieved!

My next issue came with trying to figure out a mid-run fuel point. I purposely brought things with me that I would not have to bring back, but I also wasn't sure if I would find a garbage can along the trail. I kept my eyes out while I ran. At mile 3.5 I passed along a nice park/parking lot to access the trail that I was on. There were a few garbage cans at the park's entrance to the trail. Perfect! I didn't feel like fueling yet so I ran to mile 4, turned around and got back to the garbage around 4.5 miles. I stopped (and of course paused the Garmin) for about 2 minutes since I am not coordinated enough to eat, drink, and run. I got back to running and thankfully continued to feel great. Just before mile 6 I felt like running became easier. It's odd because when I checked my Garmin stats later on I noticed my heart rate was around 165 for most of the run and then around mile 6 it dropped to 158. I felt good!

I think fueling helped because my run didn't feel tough until mile 7.25. I felt sore in my hips, but otherwise just fine. I was so proud when my watch beeped for 8 miles! I finished in 1:32:16 That is an average of 11:30 minutes/mile! I was so happy with that. It included my walking breaks during the odd rib pain, but not the fueling stop. I think finishing my half marathon in under 2.5 hours is doable. I felt so proud of my run. I think it was the first run that I felt like a runner.

The only downside of my run was when I went to see how many calories I burned. I have always heard it's about 100 calories/mile. Usually I burn just a bit more than that, but close to 100/mile. I thought I would have burned about 850 calories, but according to my Garmin only 630 calories. I didn't let that get me down for long though! :)

Sunday was my actual birthday and it was wonderful. My hubby made me coffee and my baby knocked on my door yelling "happy birthday mommy!" The hubby had flowers for me along with some nice wine (for later) and some 10 pound weights. I was realizing my weights were getting much to easy for me. (I tried the 10 pounds out on Sunday and it was killer- in a good way). We went out to lunch and had friends over for dinner and cake/ice cream. It was a wonderful weekend.

Although I guess the celebrating didn't end there. I had to go to the dentist today. I decided to bring little lady with me for the first time just to start to get her used to it. She did a good job there! I was a proud momma! Although my dentist discovered signs that I am starting to grind my teeth. I have never been a teeth grinder so I don't know what to think about this. I am supposed to go back to get fitted for a bite guard. After settling things with the office lady, little lady and I walked out to the lobby. I was trying to wrestle put little lady back into her coat and the receptionist said something like, "oh, and one more thing..." and I looked up and they had a cupcake with a candle for me and said they wanted to celebrate me on another year younger. It was so sweet of them! They are so friendly there and go out of there way to make everyone feel special,. hey seriously send out birthday cards and texts as well as Christmas cards.

cupcake from my dentist's office

Friday Figures

I am going to get to the point quickly here. I did not lose weight this week. I also did not post my weigh in from last week with all the chaos of not sleeping and having company in town. Last Friday I weighed in at 164.7 lbs. I had eaten two meals out the day before I weighed in so I was hoping some of it was temporary weight gain. I was not so lucky though, this week I weigh 165.1 lbs. Unfortunately I also ate out last night for dinner.

I want to blame this weeks lack of weight loss as a result of my increase in weight training. I met up with a mom friend and we did some circuit work while our daughters climbed on us played. I didn't feel like I worked out very hard, but I definitely felt it the next day so yesterday I did squats and lunges. I am feeling quite sore today so maybe I would have lost some weight if my muscles weren't potentially holding on to some water.

However, I am willing to bet that Easter candy and taco bell had more of a roll in this week's events. I don't know what I was thinking but I seriously thought it would be a great idea to decorate my house for Easter with Easter candy. Why would I do that to myself?!? For Valentine's I filled a vase with pink and white candy corns and did great so I thought, "hey, I am sure that would be great for Easter too!" I bought jelly beans to fill the vase, mainly because I don't particularly care for jelly beans. I had also seen a cute idea on Pinterest- a mason jar with pastel eggs on the bottom and a chocolate bunny sitting in the eggs. It was cute so I decided to make two of those beauties. It was cute...until my hand kept reaching in there and popping chocolates into my face. Even with the lid on the jars, I could not be stopped. The hubby seemed to be having the same reaction to the jelly beans. He even asked me not to refill the vase. After two days and an almost empty vase and having to combine the chocolates into just one mason jar, I put the candy away. Yeah, maybe eating a whole bag of chocolate eggs will make losing weight tough. Seriously!

Last night little lady spent some time with her aunt. The hubby and I were going to go to dinner and stop at a few thrift stores. We couldn't find a restaurant on the route to the thrift stores, but we did find a newer brewery that the hubby had been wanting to try. We went in for a beer and hopes of dinner. The beer was amazing, but the building was kind of gross and we could see the kitchen and didn't think we wanted to eat there. (They also didn't have much of a menu.) We enjoyed our beer and then headed back out. We stopped at a thrift store close to the brewery and I was feeling tipsy and starving. I just wanted to eat. The hubby suggested something quick, like taco bell. What drunk girl can say no to taco bell? Obviously not this one. To top it off I ordered a chalupa combo menu. Surprisingly when I looked up the info at home, it worked into my calorie total for the day. Still not a good choice though. I realized I really need to keep a few granola bars in the glove box for emergencies.

I can't help but think that if I could have had a quick snack to calm the hunger, I could have made a better dinner selection. Oh well, it was good and I am still in control today.

Time is flying

I finally feel like spring will be here in no time. There is a chance of snow today, but I feel like this is our last potential snow of this winter. We did get some snow last week, but thankfully it didn't affect my brother's travel plans!

My brother and his family were planning on getting over to my house Wednesday late afternoon. I had gotten the house ready and was expecting little lady to wake up from her nap and the door rang. I thought it would be my brother and family (a little earlier than expected, but I thought they wanted to surprise me a bit.) but it was a package. I finally received my Special K blog giveaway that I won.

I thought it would be here sooner because it was supposed to be for an Oscars party. There is a faux red carpet, popcorn chips, nail polish, voting ballots and $100 to throw a party. Since the Oscars have already happened, I can't really use the whole idea but it still went to good use. I shared the popcorn chips with my family and I had made a few snacks and bought drinks for their visit. I told the hubby that I wanted to save the gift card to buy something nice when I reach goal. I am thinking a really nice pair of jeans that I would never spend the money on.

I actually won something! And it was awesome!

close up of the good stuff

So back to my brother's visit...It was so nice to see him, his wife, their son, and their dogs. Our house felt full! When my brother walked in he made a quick comment about me "looking good." It really meant a lot to me because he really doesn't say stuff like that so I felt pretty good.

I stayed mostly on track during their visit. On Wednesday, I tracked everything and did well. Thursday was not as well for me. I have mentioned it before, but I totally lose control when I am tired. Little lady has gone back to her 5:30 am wake ups and I do not function well. (I know, I am such a baby about sleep.) Thankfully, my brother doesn't stay up very late so I still got to bed at a decent hour, but I don't care what time I go to bed 5:30 is not fun to wake up.

I felt out of it all day on Thursday. I made an oatmeal bake for breakfast and was starving by lunch. We took the kids to a little coffee shop/playground and their was a Qdoba next door. I never really go there so I had no clue what to get. I panicked and just ordered the veggie burrito with brown rice, black beans and no cheese or sour cream. It was huge so I just ate half. It filled me up for a bit, but since I had snacks in the house I grazed all afternoon. We went out to dinner and I totally had a California Reuben and fries. I ate pretty much the whole thing. It was delicious though!

Friday was another early morning. Little lady really wanted to be sure she didn't miss out on saying good bye to her new friends so she of course woke up at 5:30 (this was the 6th morning in a row!). My family left by 6:30 am (they had an appointment for their new housing- I swear I did not kick them out.) and I was just exhausted.

Little lady loved the family visiting, but mostly the dog she called "big one."

Once the hubby left for work, I was exhausted and lonely. I was supposed to go to a Mom's Club meeting, but I knew I wouldn't really be social so I decided to skip it. I also didn't want to stay home so little lady and I headed out to Target to use a Christmas gift card.

It was fun, but I still felt off. I had cross training on the schedule for my training and just couldn't handle it. I decided to skip it and try to take a nap. I don't know why I  couldn't imagine napping without eating a huge lunch first, but I definitely over did lunch and then just laid there miserably. Little lady didn't take a super long nap either so I never fell asleep. I felt even worse as the day went on.

We ended up driving to Detroit Friday to visit some friends. I really didn't want to go, but we were missing our friend's birthday party Saturday night so we wanted to at least celebrate a bit with him. Friday night was rough being so exhausted and I secretly really wish we hadn't gone.

We didn't fall asleep until almost 2 am and thankfully little lady slept until just after 7. However another night of not very good sleep was not what I needed. We woke up and eventually got ready for breakfast with friends. All I wanted to do all day was eat and unfortunately hubby didn't seem motivated either. We stopped at a grocery store on the way home for ice cream, chips and sushi. Good planning! Saturday was a waste health wise. I didn't do my long run or make up my cross training.

We went to bed really early on Saturday night, like little lady went to bed at 7:30 and we were in bed at 7:35 early. Yikes. I think I actually fell asleep by 8:30/9. It was nice. Little lady woke up around 5:30 (of course she did!) and I tossed the monitor to the side and mumbled something about not being able to handle it yet but I would get her in a bit. I did not get her. The hubby woke up and took the monitor away from me and eventually saved little lady from her crib. I vaguely remember them coming in to kiss me a few times. It would wake me and I would think, "ok, I should get up. I will just close my eyes for one more minute and then I will get up." That must have happened quite a few times because it was almost 10am by the time I woke up. I felt amazing though! I didn't even mind that I slept half of the day away. It was worth it.

When little lady went down for her nap, I knew what I had to do. I had to get out there and run 7 miles! I was excited and nervous. I definitely regretted all the junk I ate on Saturday, but I did it! The worst part about the run was that my Garmin died at 6.91 miles. I was bummed and felt like I cheated out on my run even though I kept running. I guess I am glad that it didn't die earlier though.

Monday I had to run 3 miles. I have decided to focus a little bit on my speed on my shorter runs. I have been keeping my speed around 11 minute miles, although on Sunday's long run they were closer to 12 minute miles. My goal for my 3 mile run was to keep each mile under 11 minute/mile. I did it! I finished in 32:17! It felt good. I really had to push myself, but I did it. I would love to run a 5k in less than 30 minutes. Maybe this will be the summer for that as well.

Sorry for the long update. I didn't think I had that much going on but I guess I did.