Half Marathon Recap

I can officially say that I have completed a half marathon! It was amazing and feels great to have accomplished that. We had beautiful weather; sunny and in the 60s.

I ran the Let's Move Festival of Races in Mt. Clemens. I don't think it's a huge event, but it seemed well organized and I had fun. I really just picked this race because I wanted to run a half marathon at the end of April. This was the only one that I could find for this particular weekend that was  either close to my house or close to my mom's.

My husband took Friday off of work so that we could make it to the race expo. I always hear about some fun sounding race expos. This was not one of them. It was really just a packet pick up. The hubby was definitely disappointed that he wasted a vacation day. We did score a free shirt from last year's race though and they were nice shirts so I was okay with it. :) We also picked up packets for the rest of my family. I don't think I mentioned it before but I managed to get 4 of my family members to do their first 5k! I was so excited for them. My aunt and her 2 sons signed up to walk the 5k and my cousin decided to run her first 5k. My hubby was also signed up to run the 5k.

Anyways, back to moi. I spent Friday morning just feeling excited for the event and that I was getting more of my family into the active lifestyle. I was talking with my cousin off and on all morning because she was super nervous. I was feeling all excitement until we started the drive to the expo. I felt like I wanted to throw up. Anxiety was finally setting in. Once we had the packets, I spent the evening chatting with my cousin about our pre race jitters.

I tried to go to bed early but did not sleep well. I think I woke up about once every hour panicked that we would be late. The race started at 8am and we were planning on leaving at 6:45am. I wanted to get up around 6am to have a cup of coffee and get ready without feeling rushed. Little lady usually sleeps until 7ish so I had to rely on an alarm clock which I rarely do these days. So every hour I shot out of bed to check the clock. Ugh. I don't know why I even doubted my daughter because some how she knows when I have to wake up and will always wake me extra early. At 5:45am I could hear her chatting away...of course. I got up and got her dressed and enjoyed my coffee.

At 6ish I woke up my mom. She was going to the race with us to watch little lady and my cousin's son while we ran. My mom had been out late Friday and I didn't know if she had seen the note that I left her about what time we would leave at. She reluctantly got out of bed and had some coffee. We all slowly got ready and out the door by 6:45am 7ish. We made out way to Mt. Clemens and around the closed streets and found awesome parking. We also easily found everyone else! Off to a great race morning start!

We brought out own cheerleaders!

The 5k runners took off at 8:15 and the walkers at 8:25. I ate my Clif bar and finished my coffee and water while they took off then headed with my mom and the kiddos to the finish line. My start time was 8:55 so I was hoping to catch my husband crossing the finish line. I waited until 8:45 and then headed back to the starting line, hitting the port a potty on the way.

I hadn't really had a plan for my half marathon. Friday night I calculated that if I some how managed to run an 11 minute/mile pace that it would take 2:24 hours and if I ran a 12 minute/mile pace (much  more likely) it would take 2:37. I told my family to head to the finish around the 2:24 mark and that I should be done by 2:45. Usually on my long training runs I preplanned everything. I knew at which point I would slow to a walk and drink some water. I like to break up my long runs into manageable pieces.

I don't know why, but I did not do that for this race. At the start line I found the 2:20 and 2:30 pacers and positioned myself between them. I usually averaged about an 11:45 min/mile pace on long practice runs so I really should have started behind the 2:30 pacer. I decided at the start line that I really wanted to beat 2:30, I should not have done this. I never really care how long my long runs take and this was supposed to be a race that I did just to finish.

I started off really strong. I averaged 11 min miles for the first 3 miles. I think I was trying to slow down, but for some reason I just really wanted to stay ahead of the 2:30 pacer. I should have just ignored it and ran slow and comfortable. Around mile 5 I was starting to get tired and walked for about 10 seconds. Around mile 5.5 I ate 3 Shot blocks while running. At mile 6 my entire left leg hurt. There was some strong pain in my hip, knee and ankle. I occasionally have ankle pain while running, but not usually hip or knee. (My hip occasionally bothers me at the end of longer runs.) I didn't know what to do. I had slowed by pace and was sticking near the 2:30 pacer. I walked and ran and kept myself close.

Miles 4.5-7 were a loop in a park. On the way out near mile 7 we could she the sweep bus turning into the park. The bus was only about 2 miles behind me and this stressed me out for some reason. I was afraid of falling behind and finishing last or even worse, really getting hurt and having to get into that bus. I pushed myself through and by mile 9 I really thought I wasn't going to make it.

At mile 10 I gave up my 2:30 dream and just tried to keep the pacer in my sights and hoped for some miracle that maybe the last mile would be easy and I would pick up the pace. Mile 10 was my only mile that took my over 12 minutes (12:08).

Once I hit mile 11 the pain had lessened or I became more used to it. I picked up the pace slightly but didn't try to out do myself. Mile 12 was the longest mile that I have ever run. When my watch beeped to tell me that I had run 13 miles, I teared up. I had to get that under control because it was making it hard to breath. :) I kept running. My watch said 13.1 and I kept running.

I had never wanted to walk more in my life than at mile 13. My body hurt and I think I was slightly dehydrated. I had the chills and felt nauseous. I did not want to walk over the finish line. I did not train for months and run my ass off for over 2 hours to walk across the finish line. I sucked it up and told myself not to puke, at least not in the pictures. :) As I turned the corner and saw the finish chute, I felt relief. I saw my hubby waving at me, my cousin jumping up and down and my mom holding little lady out to me. I high fived little lady and crossed the finish line. It felt amazing!

I am in the grey shirt. When I saw this picture on the small camera screen I actually didn't believe it was me. The girl looks to skinny to be me. Hubby had to zoom in to show me that it was in fact me.

Water, apple, and medal. I did it!

I also felt really out of it. I grabbed a water and apple and walked back to where my family was. Hubby ran up to hug me and I found out that both him and my cousin did awesome. (She was so excited and ready to sign up for more!) My aunt and sons had left because they had plans, but we saw them later on. We checked my official time and I officially finished in 2:30:23. I was actually feeling bummed about my time for awhile. I had spent so much of the race focused on finishing in less than 2:30. However, I never thought about that during any of my training runs. I just wanted to do a half marathon.

I spent the whole car ride home feeling awful. I still felt physically sick and was so bummed about my time. I also hadn't really had time to process the race because as soon as I was done and checked my time, we were in the car.

As soon as we got home to my mom's I jumped in the shower. That helped a lot. I reminded my self that my watch said that I actually ran 13.24 miles so I technically did finish 13.1 in less than 2:30 but even more importantly...I had just ran my first half marathon! I came out of that shower happy and refreshed!

Good thing because family was coming over in a few hours to celebrate little lady's 2nd birthday! I'll have to leave that for another post. This one seems to be a novel.

Half marathon countdown

I can't believe in less than two days I will be running my first half marathon! I am so excited! This training has kept me busy. I love having a training plan to follow but I am ready to be a bit less intense with it. I am thinking that after the half, I will find a training plan to work on speed.

I wanted to write a post about my last long run. I was really nervous about it because of the week that I let things go due to funeral happenings. I had missed a 10k during the funeral weekend and was scheduled to run 11 miles the weekend of my bestie's birthday. I knew that I would not have time to run 11 miles, shower, drive across the state, and help set up the party. So that morning I ran a 10k and figured I would save the long running for the next weekend.

I woke up Saturday morning ready to run. I had been debating all week in my head about weather I would run 11 or 12 miles (I missed the 11 mile run and 12 miles was on the schedule). I had decided that I would meet in the middle and just run 11.5 miles. I felt okay with that and started my run. Once I got going though, I decided that I would run until mile 6 and just turn back there, that way I would have the choice to keep running for 12 or stop running at 11.5 and walk home. As I was running the second half, I knew in my head that I would run the whole 12 (who wants to lamely walk a half mile home after running 11.5 miles anyway?). I knew that if I didn't run 12 miles I would be disappointed in myself and extra anxious about the half. I had actually purposely picked this training schedule because I wanted have have 12 miles under my shoes going into the half. Most beginner training schedules that I saw had the longest run at 10 miles. I felt like I would feel under prepared and wanted to know going into the race that I am capable of running 12 miles so adding 1.1 miles would be doable. I was so proud of myself for sticking out the 12 miles.

While running those 12 miles I realized that running and weight loss are so similar to me. They are both such mental struggles. Losing weight can be so hard when you focus on how much weight you have to lose. Every once in awhile I realize that although I have already lost about 40 pounds, I still have about 20 pounds to go and possibly more. I start to stress out that I may never get there and feel helpless. However, if I change my thinking into fewer pounds to the next "milestone" it is easier. Right now I have about 5 pounds to lose until I am at my absolute lowest adult weight. Once I am there, it is less than 10 pounds to a healthy BMI. When I think in smaller weight loses, it seems so manageable.

The same can be said of running. I have to play mental games with myself right from the beginning. As I headed out for my 12 mile run I thought about when I would stop for water and Shot blocks. I decided I could stop at mile 4, mile 7, and mile 10 for water and 2 shot blocks. It made the run completely doable. I ran for 4 miles and then walked for a minute with I drank and ate, then I told myself to just run 3 more miles, then 3 more miles. I never once let myself think 'oh no, I have run 4 miles and STILL have 8 to go.' That would have made the run feel torturous to me.

I liked thinking about running and weight loss together like that. They definitely work together for me and perhaps the mental games in one area will help me in another. I will consider it cross training. :)

Will I make it out of this black fog?

I have been missing. It started out as 'missing' just due to lack of interesting events in my life, but turned into 'missing' because things were falling apart. I will give a quick summary of events.

The days around Easter were awesome here. I actually completed my first double digit run. 10 miles in less than two hours! I was so excited and couldn't wait to share that run here. I even remembered to take a picture of my Garmin. I was (and still am) so proud of that run. However, Easter was approaching and things got busy.

Easter was spent at my mom's house with family. It was fun and little lady was adorable. She loves candy and actually stills asks if it's Easter. We came home and I fell off track for a few days. (I had weighed in before Easter at 157.2 but I don't think I had time to post it.) It took me about 3 days to get back on track. I had gained a few pounds, but once I got my diet back on track my weight was back to 157.

I was feeling good and in control and then I got a phone call that changed everything. My uncle had taken his life. It was heartbreaking. I needed to get home to be with my family. The hubby took a few days off work and we headed back across the state. It was devastating to see my family in so much pain. I thought the emotions would keep my eating in check, but I just didn't care what I was eating. It took some of the pain away and I felt like I needed it.

After 4 days we came back home. I thought once I was back into my routine, I would get myself together again. It didn't work quite like that. I couldn't shake the images of my aunt and her children (my uncle's children) sobbing. I was stuck in this dark place just imagining how they can't really just go back to their "normal" life. I let my emotions get out of control and let myself go.

I knew that my eating and lack of physical activity were not helping anyone, but I just felt completely powerless. It seems ridiculous to feel powerless against myself but I truly felt like I could not stop myself.

Thankfully this weekend was one of my bestie's birthday and I had to go back to the other side of the state (so much driving!) to help with her surprise party. I think it was what I needed to get myself out of this dark place that I have moved into. I finally ran again this weekend. I unfortunately missed a week of training so I am not feeling as positive about my half marathon, but I have 2 weeks and will be kicking ass again soon.

Today I woke up and knew that I had to face the "damages." I stepped on the scale and saw 165.4. Ugh, that explains why I feel gross and my pants don't fit as well as they were. I know a few pounds will come off quickly as water weight, but I am still so disappointed with myself. I have forgiven myself though and am ready to move forward.

Weekend recap

This weekend just flew by even though it was a nice relaxing one. Our weekends are already getting booked up through the summer so I enjoyed it.

I had a long run for Saturday. I was really stressed about it because I am still on my cleanse. I knew I would have enough energy because I have still been counting calories just to make sure that I am eating more than 1200 calories. I had been eating more than 1200 calories so I wasn't worried about running while starving.

I was a bit nervous about my lack of caffeine. I know that from the beginning I told myself to just limit caffeine, but as soon as I realized that the caffeine was the hardest for me to quit I really felt like I had to see it out. Thankfully, by Saturday morning I was already over the "stay in bed" phase. I realized though that Shot blocks wouldn't be considered clean foods and improvised. I ate a banana before my run and packed 3 dates and a coconut water for a mid run energy boost. I meant to bring some Shot blocks as an emergency back up, but I forgot.

I had 9 miles on the schedule and headed out. I started out really strong and my first 4 miles went by really fast. Unfortunately by 4.5 miles my side started to hurt a bit. I walked for a bit and stretched out my sides and got back to it. It went away by mile 5 and I felt pretty good again. Around mile 6 I stopped for my snack. I did pause my Garmin and I paced while eating my snack. I struggle during my next mile. I had to stop to walk a few times and would have totally eaten a Shot block if I remembered to pack it. By mile 7 I felt alive again and finished my last 2 miles strong(er). I ended being thankful that I didn't pack the shot blocks because I would have felt like I cheated and it's nice to know that there are healthy things to eat in route.

I took a picture of my favorite part of my run. There is this tunnel that lets you run under a road above. It's not very big, but something about the way my feet sound as they hit the pavement in the tunnel just makes me happy.

running through a tunnel

I am starting to think that putting a 2:30 goal on my first half marathon may be a bit to much. I am thinking I will probably finish closer to a 2:45, but I really don't care to much either way. I just want to finish. (I don't think I mentioned it earlier. I finished my 9 mile run in 1:45, averaging an 11:39pace.)

The rest of the weekend was mostly uneventful. I did try a few new recipes and went to a friend's jewelry party. I would have to say the jewelry party was probably one of the harder things to get through on the cleanse. There were mimosas and all sorts of delicious foods. I actually came close to accidentally eating a chip. I seriously was moving towards it without even thinking about it. I stopped myself and totally enjoyed my water. yum.

I will say that I am feeling amazing today! I am usually not dressed and out of the house until close to 10. Today little lady and I played a few games, both got dressed, ate, and got out of the house by 9:15. It was crazy. We came home and I got so much done around the house, made dinner, and took her on a little after dinner walk. The walk was almost a bust because once we got outside there were flurries and I didn't want to look to crazy taking a toddler for a snow walk. We just walked through the yard for a bit and then headed through the neighborhood behind us once the snow had stopped. She told me so had so much fun. I am thinking that could be a new after dinner activity for us. I loved it!

Friday figures

I was so excited this morning that I actually made the trip back to the scale with my iPod to capture the moment. I am in a new decade!

hell yeah!

159 lbs! I can not believe I am in the 150s. On my only other real weight loss attempt I lost weight steadily until I hit about 160. I stayed right around 160 for a few weeks without seeing much progress. I went in one morning dehydrated after a night of too many drinks and saw either 157 or 155, but never saw the 150s again.

I eventually figured I just couldn't weigh less than 160 and stopped "dieting." I somehow managed to maintain between 160 and 165 for a few months and then I slowly packed every last pound back on and found myself pregnant at 196 pounds.

I have been so excited to show myself that I will weigh less than 160 and now I do! I sort of thought I would be nervous because this was my stall out moment last time but I am not nervous. Things are so differ than they were previously and I am ready to keep at it.

On my previous weight loss attempt I was on Weight Watchers. I really did learn a lot from them, but I was not in the right place at all to actually practice the things they were teaching us. I would try to make my meals as low in points as possible and save as many points as possible for snacks and drinks. I also really didn't want to work out. I had my elliptical machine back then and I did use it occasionally, but I really didn't like to sweat. I rarely moved the resistance past level 3 and maybe worked out for 20 minutes.

This "journey" is completely different. I really do feel like I have changed/am changing the way I eat. I am making healthy meals for my family and they actually taste good (or at least okay). I also actually enjoy working out! I love being able to say that I am training for a half marathon. I love that sometimes when I finish a shorter run, I still have energy and throw in a little strength training. When I actually use my old elliptical, I do a pre-programmed 30 minute program that goes all the way up to level 8 or 9.

I feel so different this time around. I am happy and actually want to stay on my "diet" for life. I know that this journey won't get any easier. I will have to constantly keep myself in check, but I feel strong and able.

Cleansing

I realize on my last post that once I recapped the past 5 days, I didn't really talk about the cleanse. I first mentioned the cleanse last Friday. My friend and I decided to try it together just to have someone to hold us accountable. We have been texting back and forth since Monday over the good and bad of our cleanse.

I really didn't expect much from this cleanse. I felt that I was eating mostly clean foods and that this cleanse would be easy for me. For the most part, my meals have not been a huge issue. I have tried a few new things though. I have been doing fruit smoothies for breakfast and hard boiled eggs with avocado for lunch. It has been helping me with my mindless snacking though, which is what I really needed help with.

I didn't decide to do a cleanse to lose weight. I am sure that I could do a 3 day juice fast and lose weight, but I would obviously gain everything back as soon as I started to eat real food again. I have been struggling with white processed foods. My husband loves taco night and prefers white tortillas. There are a few wheat tortilla brands that he will eat, but occasionally he just needs white processed tortillas. I am usually fine with ignoring his tortillas and sticking to my wheat or corn tortillas. However, for the past month or two I have found myself filling white tortillas (even though there are wheat tortillas in the fridge) with lunch meat and cheese or cream cheese and jam. They are delicious and I don't usually stop at one. I really needed to remove white grains from my diet for awhile just to reset myself. That was the main goal of the cleanse for me.

It is interesting how much I think about snacking when I am not really hungry. Now that my snack options are so limited (fruit, veggie, nut) I don't mindlessly snack so much. It seems that I actually only snack when I am hungry! haha. I did have a new to me fruit that I loved and felt like I was indulging- a cherimoya. It's common name is apple custard. It's not quite custard, but it is delicious. It was a bit pricey but I liked it enough that I went back to the store and bought 2 more today. 

cherimoya- new favorite fruit

Back to the cleanse, I wasn't really thinking of taking the no caffeine too seriously. I figured I would go one day without coffee and then allow myself just one cup of coffee each morning. I was shocked that I never got a headache from caffeine withdrawal, but I definitely lost focus and energy.

Monday I did have half of a cup of coffee to start the day, but have not had any caffeine since then. Tuesday and Wednesday were the worst. Both days all I wanted to do was place little lady in front of the tv and curl up under a blanket. Thankfully, I did not but I was not as energetic as usual. We made it to a Mom's club playgroup and even had some fun at home.

play dough fun while mom pretends to not need a nap

I also had to force myself to do each run this week. They were way slower than usual, but they got done.

Today, Thursday, I actual feel a bit of energy in me. I have not felt the urge to curl up in blankets and never move again. I actually feel more determined to complete this cleanse without anymore caffeine. (I may make an exception this weekend for my 9 mile run.)

Tomorrow is my weigh-in day so I am excited for that. I had gained about 2 pounds from the drinking that was last weekend, but those came back off pretty easily. Here's to a good weigh in day for all!

Weekend recap and more

So I survived the trip to the east side of the state...just barely. I will admit I was happy with my eating while there but my drinking was out of control.

After my run on Saturday I did indeed eat my oatmeal and salad. We drove straight to my cousin's house where she made tacos for the birthday party. I had one taco with meat, tomatoes, onions, and guacamole. I also enjoyed a side of dirty rice. Surprisingly my hand only dipped into the chips a few times. There was of course cake and ice cream. I had a small piece and one scoop of ice cream that I shared with little lady and thankfully she ate most of it for me.

Once most of the party goers left, a few of us enjoyed some wine together. We were waiting for my other cousin to make it over still. (My brother is really close to the cousin we were waiting for and they had planned on hanging out and invited hubby and I to join them all too.) The wine kept flowing and after three large glasses, I should have stopped. I did not. Shortly after my cousin got there I went with my SIL to take my nephew to her dad's house for the night (little lady was with my mom). I knew I was already drunk in the car but I didn't really think much of it. (My SIL had not had anything to drink yet. No one was harmed in the car ride.)

We got back to my cousin's and ended up going on a quick run to the liquor store for beer, wine, and liquor. We hung around my cousin's for a bit more and I probably had another glass of wine and then some how we all ended up heading out to the bar. (I was not driving. The hubby dropped my car at my mom's since he hadn't started drinking yet and we picked a bar about a half mile from my mom's.)

Unfortunately I continued drinking at the bar, but switched to liquor. Around 12:30 it suddenly hit me that I was way to drunk. Whenever I have that revelation, I demand that the hubby take me home immediately. We found our coats and my cousin noticed we were taking off and refused to let us walk so he graciously drove us to my mom's. As soon as we walked in, I fell apart. Let's just say the night did not end pretty.

The next morning I woke up feeling okay, but extremely tired. Little lady woke up around 7 and the hubby needed help finding more wipes so I had to get out of bed. I laid pathetically on the couch the whole morning and maybe fell asleep for a few minutes (It's hard to fall asleep with a toddler roaming around). Since it was St. Patrick's Day my mom was making corned beef and cabbage and really wanted us to stay. I REALLY didn't feel like eating but I also REALLY didn't feel like moving so we sort of got roped into lunch. My mom invited my grandma over at 11 (my gma lives 2 houses down) so my goal was to get dressed by 11.

That did not happen so when I heard my grandma come in, I jumped in the shower quickly. I was hoping a shower would make me feel better but it made me realize how hard it was for me to stand. I felt weak. I got dressed and sat at the table with a piece of bread. I took a few bites and told the hubby that I needed to sleep for a little bit and then I could make the trip home.

The hubby woke me after a half hour and I felt SO much better. I rejoined my family and had a half of a corned beef sandwich and chatted for a bit. Then, we loaded up and got ready to head home. I almost made it out of my mom's house having only eaten that half sandwich, but she had bought us each a candy bar and I had to take it with me. I ate and enjoyed it in the car.

Sunday was supposed to be cross training but I just could not convince myself to do anything once we were home and settled. I decided to try to make it up this week.

Monday was the first day of my 10 day cleanse. I woke up to a fresh pot of coffee made by my wonderful husband. I have finally gotten him to make me coffee and I don't think he realized that I was not planning on coffee. I had to enjoy a half cup, but that was all I had. I managed just fine with resisting everything else on my list.

According to my training schedule I am supposed to run on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday but I needed to run Monday thru Wednesday because of a potential visitor. I could not convince myself to run but I did walk 3 miles on the treadmill. I felt okay with that because my right knee and calf have been feeling off. I thought maybe just walking would be good.

Tuesday I would have had 5 miles to run, but plans changed for this week and I didn't have to rush my runs in the beginning of the week. I was really tired yesterday mainly from lack of caffeine so I decided to count my 3 mile walk as cross training so that I would be caught up and just run 3 miles on Tuesday. I did walking and running on the treadmill because my calf was really tight, but my knee did feel better.

Today, Wednesday, I had to face up my mid week 5 mile run. I felt exhausted all day. I realize how much I rely on coffee. I really want to add a cup of coffee in the morning back, but I actually feel determined to finish the rest of the 10 days without caffeine. I was planning on waiting for the hubby to get home from work so I could run outside since it is the first day of spring. However, I looked out the window and saw this.

How is it still snowing?

I felt crabby from lack of caffeine and could not convince myself that I would run in the snow. I thought I would try 5 miles on the treadmill during nap time, but I was so unfocused. I almost decided to skip the run and blame it on the knee/calf issue, but I couldn't do it.

Once little lady went to sleep I hopped on the treadmill. I walked the first 0.1 mile and ran the last 0.9 mile of each mile. It took me forever (1:08:25) but I did it! I felt good and more awake than I felt all day. I didn't realize how sweaty I was until I went in the bathroom to shower.

sweaty chest! I earned it!

I am hoping to run my 3 miles outside tomorrow. Hopefully the weather will get nice soon so I can just take little lady with me on my week day runs.