Another first (sort of)

I finally did my first half marathon training run outside! It felt so good to be out there! But more about that in a minute.

This morning was a little out of sorts. Due to unexpected circumstances, we were all dressed and in the car by 7 am. Since we were already up and out we decided to go out for Sunday breakfast. I hate panicking whenever the hubby suggests going out to eat so I am trying to really focus on self control while dining out.

My favorite restaurant wasn't open until 8 (probably a good thing since it's much harder to use control on amazing food) so we decided to just go to a little diner type place in our small town. It's not the best breakfast, but I was really just going to enjoy my two favorite people.

We got there and I looked over the menu. They didn't have anything to special, just the usual omelettes, eggs, pancakes... I was thinking of getting an egg white omelette with just veggies but I really wanted a side of potatoes. I thought about getting them as well and just having a few bites. Then, I realized I didn't want the omelette at all. I was just getting it because it seemed like a good choice. I thought that if I wanted potatoes, I should get something with potatoes. I found a skillet with potatoes topped with veggies and cheese. I ordered it without the cheese and only ate half of it. To be fair, it was not delicious (I think all/most of the veggies were canned) but the potatoes hit the spot. I felt good about my choice and was surprised that I felt full. I realized that if I hadn't stop to drink coffee and focus on if I wanted more, I would have totally finished the meal. It was a good reminder for me to stop while eating and focus on how I am actually feeling.

We came home and I tracked everything I ate. It wasn't to bad. I guesstimated about 600 calories. Definitely more than I usually spend on breakfast, but it was nice to have a Sunday morning out to breakfast with just my little family. I planned out the rest of my meals today and can totally make it work into my calories.

I was thinking after last Sunday's disaster of a breakfast out, I needed to make sure to stay on track before I veer off course for another week. I figured a run should happen. My schedule has Sunday as a rest day and Monday-Wednesday 3-5 mile runs. I thought that since my legs felt good I would just do Monday's run today and then run again on Monday(unless my legs say no) and Wednesday. (I want to run on those days because I am meeting up with a friend on Monday, which usually involves food of some sorts and my brother is coming to town on Wednesday, which usually includes some drinking. I want some extra calories on those days.)

I decided that I would get ready to run before I changed my mind. I looked outside and it wasn't snowing at the moment, so I checked the weather. It was low 30s and a 30% chance of snow. I decided that I would head outside for a run. I just planned on doing 3 miles and told the hubby that if it was awful I would just do 1 mile outside and finish up at home on the treadmill.

Oh wow, was I glad I went outside. It felt so good to be out there running. Can I also say how much I love our trail?!? It was packed down from other runners and bikers. It made me feel connected in some way to the other local people that feel it necessary to get out in the snow and run. I even passed another runner out there at one point. It feels good to feel involved in some way in the active community. Plus, the snow can be beautiful and it was really peaceful to be out there.

snow covered trail

snow peaking out as I finish up my run

I am thinking my next long run (7 miles) may just be done outside in the snow! I actually regretted not gearing up and heading out yesterday.

Friday Figures

I have officially tracked every single thing I have eaten for the past week! I am so proud of myself and I am feeling better than I have in a long time!

I woke up this morning feeling a bit bloated. I have been so excited to weigh in this morning and have a big loss. I only let myself peek at the scale once all week. I had checked in on Monday morning and actually saw 165 again. Laying in bed this morning, feeling bloated, I started to dread getting on the scale. I panicked that I would see a gain and let myself spiral back to not really tracking and continue to maintain my current weight. I laid there and reminded myself that I am going to complete this challenge either way.

I walked to the bathroom and mentally prepared myself for what I could see. I reminded myself that last Friday I was 167.7 lbs. I decided that anything less than 168 would be okay. I was hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. I stepped on and couldn't believe what I was seeing. I stepped off and on a few more times and the scale continue to reassure me. I weigh 164.0 lbs!

I felt extra excited about the weight loss because I even went out to eat this week. Usually going out to eat means I eat like a starving person at the restaurant and then come home and continue to act like I haven't eaten in days. Little lady and I met up with a friend for breakfast one day this week. I was feeling panicked about it, but I know that I can make healthy choices while eating out. The challenge was that we went to my absolute favorite restaurant and everything they make is absolutely delicious. I had decided that I would get whatever it was that sounded the best to me, but ask for no cheese and eat whites. They had a chicken BLT scramble for their breakfast special. I followed through with my egg whites and no cheese request and they had no problems. The best part is that their food is so good you don't even miss the cheese. I came home and tracked the meal as best as I could and ate well for the rest of the day. It obviously worked out well for me since I finally saw a new number on the scale!

I have been smiling about it all morning! I lost 3.7 pounds this week. I am not expecting huge loses from here on out. I think it's the exciting first week of a diet effect. Either way, I will continue to track my food and work on my half marathon training. I guess the secret to weight loss success really is eating right and exercising! Who Knew!?! :)

Living Experiences

Last night was the MOMS night out for October. I was excited and nervous for it as usual. I enjoy going out with the other moms once per month, but at the same time I always feel awkward and haven't really connected to anyone in this group yet. I am still glad that I joined though, all of the moms are really nice.

Last night's adventure took us to a tapas bistro downtown, San Chez. I had never been there before, but have always heard great things about it. I was really looking forward to seeing what this place was all about. I knew tapas were small food portions, but I wasn't sure if we would be eating there. I thought we were just going out for drinks. I had a reasonable dinner before I left and had figured I could enjoy a drink or two. Once we all got to the restaurant and got situated though, it became obvious that we would be sharing some tapas. I felt panicked and wanted to leave immediately. I had not budgeted for food! Everyone decided each mom could pick one tapas and we would share them all. I know that I could have said that I would not be eating, but I felt like I would look foolish not partaking in the foods so I went for it. I was glad that I did because the food was delicious! It was also super expensive so I don't think I would go back therefore just another reason to be glad I got to enjoy it. I just took very small samples of each selection. I also still enjoyed 2 drinks.

On the drive home I was feeling bad about my decisions and felt like I had gone off track. I then remembered that life happens and just a few days ago I realized that even though I am changing my lifestyle to a healthier version, I still want to enjoy life as it happens. I did not overindulge at the restaurant. I just sampled some delicious food with some new mom friends. That is life and that is what I want to be enjoying right now.

Also, I am now 7 days binge free! I was really looking forward to tomorrow's weigh in, but last nights food does make me nervous. I didn't weigh in today(I do weigh myself every morning.) because it was most likely to be higher than the previous day and I didn't want to regret last night. I am hoping that tomorrow's weigh in will be great though.

I can climb out of this hole

So since my Friday night downfall I have not really been standing on my own two feet. I felt a heavy depression on me and I could not shake it, or eat my way out of it. I overate Friday night and managed to pull myself together again on Saturday (Go me!). However, I couldn't stay there. I lost it all again on Sunday and again on Monday. Tuesday I still felt the funk and pulled everything I had and managed to keep my eating in check. However, on Wednesday I couldn't fight the urge and fat Jill was in the house.

It really sucked on Wednesday  night. We had a planned date night to go to the restaurant that one of my best friends serves at. We had a great groupon deal for two drink, one appetizer, two entrees and one dessert included. I have heard such great things about the food at this restaurant and was really excited for this night. Originally I had figured I would order as best as I could but still order something I would enjoy and hopefully stop when I was full. On Wednesday I ate a reasonable breakfast and lunch, but still felt the funk. I was trying to be productive and look at the menu to make choices ahead of time. All that did was make me hungry and food crazy so I ended up snacking all afternoon and getting to the restaurant already stuffed. Although that didn't stop me from eating. We ordered the crab artichoke dip to share. It was good, but being so full I only had a few bites. We had the salad bar option with our entrees so I made a fatty salad - lettuce with cheese, bacon, olives and ranch. I did eat that whole things. I ordered breaded walleye with asparagus as my entree. I ate the asparagus and almost half of the fish. It was delicious but my stomach seriously felt like exploding. I ate more than I wanted to because I didn't want my friend to think that I didn't like it. (Never eat for someone else! I also doubt she would have cared.) For dessert the hubby picked creme brulee cheesecake. It was amazing but my stomach could not take more than 2 bites.I felt disgusted with myself and was so upset that I ruined a meal that I had been planning on enjoying for over 2 weeks.

The saddest part was when I got home and went to put my leftovers in the fridge I was sort of thinking about what else I could eat. So many times we would go out to eat and I always feel like I shouldn't be able to finish the huge portions so I eat part of it and then take the rest home and devour it as soon as we get home. I think my brain was going through that, but thankfully the fullness was enough for me.

Maybe that is what snapped me back to reality. I woke up today feeling refreshed for the first time all week. Not rested, I am tired but I feel in control of my eating again. I don't even know how to explain it. It is such a weird thing. Last week I was thinking about how on top of my eating I have been and how changed I am. Then all of a sudden this week hits. I hope that one day I understand what causes this feelings to change so drastically and that I learn how to control them or myself through them.

I have already decided to skip weigh in this week. I did weigh myself today though because I felt like it was the closure that I needed. Usually I overeat and then don't weigh myself for a few days and then continue to eat until I weigh myself and get back on track. I think part of me loves seeing such a big loss overnight (If I weigh myself the day after a binge and see a high number, I am guaranteed a few pounds lost quickly).

The good thing though is that I honestly feel 100% back to healthy Jill. For the past few days I have not really accomplished much during little lady's naps. I watched a documentary and a lot of trashy tv. I some how forgot about most of my chores and became uber lazy. Today I made a nice lunch, have plans to prep dinner soon and have completed the days chores. I am also hoping to do some strengthening because I have to get in 2 miles and strength today. I already used my rest day this week.